once standing tall and proud,passions ignighted along a trickling stream of hot wax,only to climax into a pool of reflection,of what it used to be and has now become...these lines hit hardest to my ears...
Home is nothing more
Then a square white circle
Sectioned off and marked
As evidence.
This is really good, I honestly don't know what else to say. I'm trying to give longer reviews, but there doesn't seem to be anythign wrong with the peice that hasn't been pointed out.
once standing tall and proud,passions ignighted along a trickling stream of hot wax,only to climax into a pool of reflection,of what it used to be and has now become...these lines hit hardest to my ears...
Home is nothing more
Then a square white circle
Sectioned off and marked
As evidence.
You are so right! Lies do become a straight jacket in life, they hold us prisoner because we believe them after awhile!
This really makes me stop and think, guess i've gotta stop burning the candle at both ends!!
Great job!
This was excellent- perfect imagery, and wonderfully done metaphors. I especially love, "When childhood is a prison
You’ve escaped from
Adulthood becomes
Solitary confinement."
Only thing I'd change is *straitjacket*.
It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool
About
Birth name: Dale Deadmond
Born November 20th, 1969
Metaphorically speaking music is my BFF and poetry is my soulmate.
This is my world of
my favorite poets are E.A. Poe, Dylan Thomas, R.. more..