Astronomical Consequences

 

Every slip of the tongue

Is another shooting star

       I miss…

              Can’t wish upon.

Within the moon’s protective glare

Are the secrets that sleep

During the day…

       If awoken by the sunrays

The earth’s axis would dry up

Causing the world to stop spinning

Making high noon and the witching hour

One in the same…

       Two personalities

              Becoming one

Till the sky is a permanent gray

Before the big bang.

Reviews

[just rose.]

This is a really interesting spin on the Hegelian dialectic i.e. thesis, antithesis, synthesis. It's interesting to see what happens when opposites collide ... it seems there is a sort of dullness or sameness suggested that nevertheless precludes a further, startling action. What interests me also is the emotion that may have informed this lofty thinking ... I often measure who and what I am against that light from the stars, which started many years before just to reach my eyes. Brilliant. Great line breaks too. Very lyrical and effective RRC.

[Helen Crutchett]

"Every slip of the tongue
Is another shooting star
I miss…
Can’t wish upon."

A great start to pull the reader into this. Intriguing write, I liked where your must took you with this poem.

[Wicahpi]

Now this is deep...
Intriguing and intellectual!
Well done :)

[Tina Kline]

Very interesting and makes me think, its as if being separate things are more glorious but combined they become dull and uninteresting. So its as if we should be alert and not let things get dull, be careful not to let chances slip by us. I'm not sure if this even makes any sense!

[Amy Bumpas]

Love this first line:Every slip of the tongue
Is another shooting star
I miss…
Brings the poem together.

[closed account]

WOW.... this was very interesting
I am taking part of this poem and
running with it, relating it into
my own life..