This is a really interesting spin on the Hegelian dialectic i.e. thesis, antithesis, synthesis. It's interesting to see what happens when opposites collide ... it seems there is a sort of dullness or sameness suggested that nevertheless precludes a further, startling action. What interests me also is the emotion that may have informed this lofty thinking ... I often measure who and what I am against that light from the stars, which started many years before just to reach my eyes. Brilliant. Great line breaks too. Very lyrical and effective RRC.
hmmmmmm....the image selected set my mind to see this pieces as roots being torn off and foundations being elevated into another realm....the ending confirmed the moment of creation having no set formula or limitations - we never know when things will fall upon us (inspiration, life changing moments and our love being ignited) this was a wonderful abstract to me that can be taken in different ways.
Very deep, a nice piece of work. I like the word play and the imagrey you painted. A nice title as well, which pulled me in initially. I like your originality in your writing. keep it up friend.
Not sure where the metaphor is, if there is one .. the night and day, the two sides of a character .. whichever, you've worded thoughts that really have me thinking. The sky, the view we have on life, is grey until we open up our thinking ..
'Every slip of the tongue
Is another shooting star
I miss…
Can’t wish upon.'
We need contradiction, we need everything .. otherwise we miss it all.
The imagry in this is amazing! Puts me out into the universe, and also i see the beauty of two people combining their lives to become one force, definately a wonderful piece of work!!
Ok. I'm taking this astronomy class this summer and boy let me tell you, this drew me in like crazy Dale! I LOVE this. I don't even think I can really highlight a specific point that I liked best. I've never really read someone on here before who's done such a thing. CREATIVE! Oh the Big Bang. I think this is your best. Outstanding.
Huh this is so interesting. It's short, but has a lot to say. Your imagery is interesting and the ideas aren't things I often stumble upon in others writing.
My favorite part:
"Till the sky is a permanent gray" Curious image
Great piece :)
It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool
About
Birth name: Dale Deadmond
Born November 20th, 1969
Metaphorically speaking music is my BFF and poetry is my soulmate.
This is my world of
my favorite poets are E.A. Poe, Dylan Thomas, R.. more..