Numb

 

That ton of bricks

Is a feather in my cap.

 

A swinging sledgehammer

Might as well be a bee sting.

 

Sudden shotgun blast

Becomes a pinprick.

 

Being in so much pain

Has made me numb.

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

These are some serious emotion going on here. It feels like a sudden shock from something tragic that has happened. It has me thinking and feeling some one has died from being shot. Wow this is deeply moving in so few short words that are all carefully placed. the flow as smooth as water but yet it strikes me tragic.

[Holly-Marie]

Tragic, strange and powerful. Wonderfully written and thoughtfully portrayed. Has a strong impact on the reader.

[Liza]

Impacting way of describing the numbing that happens when life hits us like a ton of bricks...the numbing we run to to stop the pain yet the pain reminds us we're alive while the numbing makes us live like lifeless bodies....i enjoyed the insight.

[Narnie]

Strong, definite, powerful. I like the brevity which adds to the intense feeling, R&R. You write these short mind moments well.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is another good write "being in so much pain has made me numb" love this line

[Lauren Beth]

I love this piece even though the pain and sadness that is expressed. The numbness from so much pain and hurt is something that I can relate to. When you go through so much and are continually hurt by someone you begin to expect it and just can't fathom it anymore. It's a breaking point. Well written...love the comparisons, like a sledgehammer feeling like a minor bee sting.

[Millionth Muse]

:( I'm sorry you feel this way, but on the bright side, it makes for beautiful poetry. Seriously, though, this is another great piece; simple, strong and expressive. Nicely done!

[Jessica]

Very powerful language. I love it. I've been in this situation before, hope you get out of it okay!

--Jess:)

[Bud]

Numbness becomes the norm after so much pain is endured for such a period of time. Then our feelings become mentally generated rather than emotionally. It simply shuts down... The sadness of it all is all of it...

[Stacey Watts]

My heart is hurting for you. I know this feeling and have felt this quite a few times in my life. This was a very straight forward honest piece and I hope that you can fight through the pain and find the light again. My thoughts are with you.

[The Analog Kid]

Pretty straightforward, yet powerful. I dig the bricks/feather line. Nice concise write Cowboy.