Three Views, One Vision

 

Dirty window;

Distorts the truth,

Dimming that gleam

In your eyes:

Leave the illusion

Of your skin covered in dirt,

Making way for your epitaph.

 

Tinted window;

Covers the truth,

Concealing any expression

Upon your face:

Leaving you as blank

As an unwritten verse,

Canceling a read between the lines.

 

Clean window;

Is the clear truth,

The one I always imagine

Escaping your lips:

Jail breaking thoughts

That breaks me free of guilt,

So life is no longer like parole.

 

Three windows, four walls…

Three views, one vision…

Three chances, one choice…

 

…Maybe I’ll take a chance and breakdown

         the pane-less wall instead.

 

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

A most powerful write with a grand message therein~ i think
the evil men do is indeed a dirty window~ and most of us live day to day
in the tinted window behind masks so to speak~ and try as we may we
want that clear window of truth , yet so hard to find it and bring to daily
use~ many of us opt for the wall no doubt~ a wonderful piece with great
use of mtaphors, cleverly penned and illustrated with complementary picture
that matched your words/vision perfectly!!

[Tracie Skarbo]

Maybe I’ll take a chance and breakdown
the pane-less wall instead.

Love these lines at the end...sums it up perfectly. This flows well all the way through...I love it!

[Wicahpi]

You are a visionary...

[Tina Kline]

I like your poem and the use of windows in it. The clear window is the best choice, I think, but do we always want that one? Great job here. Really like this.

[Constance-Outspoken]

The clear truth is always the best choice, cowboy, but you knew that. I love this one. I'm glad to be back too, and glad to see your work. :)

[Narnie]

Oh I like the three windows... and the clever use of pane in the last line. It makes the whole poem feel solid but that is of course cleverly enforced with the hard consonents that you've used. The M's in the first, the C's and then the TH in the third... I really, really like it. I have one niggle! And it is probably very personal but it is a matter of cutting out any words that make you sound uncertain or are too pointedly descriptive as in the 'like' before parole. Maybe it could work just as well saying 'that breaks me free of guilt/so life is no longer parole.' That line is so powerful - a jaw dropper that I think it could be more definitive and requires no direction? Ohhh, I am such a pedant. :)

[An Ordinary Woman]

Choices, choices huh? This is nice cowboy. I ain't never been good about choices if there are too many to choose from. I get overwhelmed. It's best for me to keep things simple. I like your poem. You did real good. :)