State Of the Unknighted Nations

 

Worldwide

            Whispers

      With

Tornado

            Tendencies

      Take

Fabricated

            Flight

      Fast

Over hollowed ground,

Inflating deceased veins:

      Effect…

Superficial reincarnation,

Genetic miscarriage.

An empty graveyard

Now fills the void

Of sacred emotions.

Decaying flesh

Becomes the symbol of freedom;

The cry of the wolf,

      The new national anthem.

The sun now shines

With the motivation of a spotlight,

The respect of a flashlight.

The shadows and fog corporate merge

Just so night and day

are no longer different.

Underground

Unity

      Ultimately

Beckons

            Belligerent

Bishops

Into

            Inconceivable

      Immortality

 

Leaving the human race

In a state of suspended animation.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[J.Black]

Ok this is SOO awesome, except I hate (lol sorry!), the way it's written in all caps. Maybe you're trying to scream at the reader? Hah, I'm not to sure. I mean your words are LOUD and powerful enough that I think it would have just worked nicely on its own. Yes everything should be emphasized and "in your face" with this, but tone it down will ya? ;-D Haha I'm kidding. It's perfect.

[J.P. Bristow]

Wow-this was fABUlous.....I loved the structure and the voice.....this would be perfect read out loud to an audience--quick and passionate with emphasis on hard hitting words ----well done!!!

[Theresa]

Powerful words that are backed up by your powerful emotions. I like how you have the format its as if you are screaming. All I have to say is It has to get better. It can't get any worse or can it?

[Seriana]

Dang dale, you rock on with your bad self! I REALLY like this piece! LOVE LOVE LOVE the alliteration. It's a face-paced read, one that just rolls right off the tongue. Marvelous to see such a passionate heart in your words. Thanks for sharing!

[Jamie S.]

I try not to follow politics or government(ignorance was bliss,lol) but poor choices are all around us and it cannot be ignored anymore. You have shined your spotlight on it with your words of wisdom. Nice writing Dale!!

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Wow.. it's writings like this that hit emotions where I think they need to be hit.. right at the heart. I do believe we are in times of major change.. however, these types of writings are definitely needed to wake people up.. as the people have their job to do as well .. can't afford to be zombies yet so many are jobless or owe money to high degrees and working lengthy hours.

Your ending to me is so mark on.. so many times I look around and that is the very feeling I get .. a state of suspended animation is the exact echo of what is around me with more than 11% (actual? I personally think it's higher) unemployment.. Alot of sadness running through but with a cry I think of wanting to see change.. for the better!!!

[R J Askew]

I liked this as it shows your versatility. But I don't think the last line is right as we are in a highly dynamic state with all things shifting rapidly.

[An Ordinary Woman]

I know. I'm so frustrated with the way things are going but also feel helpless to do anything other than write about it. As writers, our voice is a tool to plant seeds of change. I do believe Cowboy, this poem is a tool, too. Great writing!

[Millionth Muse]

Love the feel of this one...dramatic and gut-wrenching, but not overdone. The alliteration really adds to the read, especially if you read it aloud.

[Honeypot]

Powerful read. I love the alliteration that you used. It added punch to an already good poem. Seems like the road we're on. Great job.