Legacy Imagined

 

Staring towards God’s lair

The sky like my fireplace;

Cold, dark, empty…

I tilt my head: nothing changed,

Except my point of view.

I close my eyes; clarity becomes surreal,

The sky a glowing amber,

Psychological flames heat my mind

Causing it to rise…

Carried away on a hypnotic breeze.

I shout at the top of my lungs

So my thoughts can ride my vocal hopes

Like a magic carpet, till they become vapor trails.

I freefall; the ocean my safety net,

The tide my salvation,

The shoreline my savior.

My footprints in the sand

Become hot to the touch,

Each step sinking deeper

Till I find myself

Within a foreign basement;

The smell of roses permeates

This damp structure,

Somehow unsettling to my senses

My stomach tightens

Like a hangman’s noose.

A flicker, then a flash;

A spotlight then accents a table

With a game of poker in progress…

I’m compelled to join.

Five card draws the game;

E.A. Poe to my left,

The lizard king to my right…

All my cards; ace of spades

Still I win the hand;

A gust of wind,

I open my eyes…

The sky is blue

My face pale white.

Reviews

[Bare trees]

If I didn't know any better I'd say you had one hell of an lsd trip. Or was it acid, Mushrooms? Just a dream? Whatever it was, you explained it well and it seemed to go by pretty fast which shows how engrossed I was. To be sitting next to those guys would be somthing. Good job.

[An owl on the moon]

What an amazing balance of light and dark... covering your canvass and drawing us in to the glimpses of seas and spades... This is a beautiful, colorful, dreamish write!

[Tracie Skarbo]

oooh I love this ... you have so many great lines in this one...

The sky a glowing amber,
Psychological flames heat my mind
Causing it to rise…
Carried away on a hypnotic breeze.
I shout at the top of my lungs
So my thoughts can ride my vocal hopes
Like a magic carpet, till they become vapor trails.


Love this part..excellent!!!

[MagiCrystal]

A game of cars and you came out with a winning card.. Aw.
I have to say my dear friend.. Your mind has draw in mine a world
of cards and ... the wind draw me a poem
with your verses..
this is awesome.. just awesome... more please

[Taylor H.]

amazing!

[Life is A"Musing"]

Your words give such clarity through wonderful visuals written in metaphor! This is such an enigmatic piece that flows freely from line to line.
Very Nice! Lee

[Ellen Hammond]

This is very different for you Dale, somewhat dark and forboding. Interesting that all your cards were the ace of spades. No wonder your face was pale white. Gotta love your poker pals too. Great imagery and analogies draw us into the scene with you. Well done, my friend.

[MattWheatus]

This is fantastically cryptic yet clear, powerful, vivid and some great analogies. I loved "My stomach tightens like a hangman’s noose". Amazing work!

[Honeypot]

What a great image of somebody falling through the sky and WOW! The ending is fantastic. Like a strange dream leaving you wondering what it means. Its got a sense of something wrong, but perhaps an answer at the end. Really interesting piece.

[Ladysue]

wow, I love the phrasing in here. It really produces vivid images in the readers mind. A very strong and consuming write. Your words go deep in here. I thought this was an awesome piece!

[Jenny Nelson]

A very vivid picuture. Surreal. One of those writes that you have to think about, but it's worth the time to do so. You paint quite the picture. An excellent write.