Beautiful Building

  

Echoes of forgiveness penetrate

Steel walls

Only to escape

By breaking windows.

Now the shattered glass

Remains not cleaned up

To serve as defense mechanism

In keeping onlookers at a distance.

Then no one can see that

Even though this structure looks strong

It has one big weakness…

 

                  Still feeling hollow

                  Feeling like anyone who enters

                  Is merely a visitor,

                  Fearing being vandalized and

                  Abandoned.

 

The hate of being rented grows every day

But still can’t bear the thought of being sold.

Wishing the foundation was built on softer ground

So the next time the earthquakes

It could find itself on new property.

Such a beautiful building is already condemned

Even though it is in perfect structure.

 

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a profound depth flowing through your words that echoes buildings and lives as well... that hollow feeling that makes one seem so empty... You've created a piece here that speaks so beautifully on several levels, to our current economic times and the emotional influence of isolation in the world. Amazing write.

[ABitBrokenPoetry]

love this. can definately see the metaphor. humans thinking they are made of steel on the outside, but fearful on the inside. fear of being abandoned, left alone to fall apart. absolutely a sad, gorgeous write.

[MagiCrystal]

Still feeling hollow

Feeling like anyone who enters

Is merely a visitor,

Fearing being vandalized and

Abandoned. My fav.. lines..and also.. your flow is superb...I see your soul in this poem.. sad and lonely..so real... Love it

Still feeling hollow

[closed account]

this was very interesting, I loved your idea and metephor with the building and a person, this was very unique and creative! I really enjoyed it, although sad but yet a perfect piece of art!! You did amazing Dale,, two thumbs up!!!

[Norma J. Jessee]

This is so sad Dale. This building may have lost its former occupants and it may have become sad and felt neglected over time. There may have been many renters who abused it and took advantage of the many beautiful things the building had to offer. Love is the only thing this building knows and desires and needs. So it locked it's doors and put up it's defenses determined to keep everyone out.But without the possibility of love the building began to feel hollow and deprived. And the building realized that life isn't long enough to lock away its heart. There will come a day when someone will walk inside this building and find all the beauty inside and fall in love with it, and they won't want to just rent it, they will want to buy it and make it their own. Then love will come to live in this building for the rest of its days.
The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all. For when a building remains empty people tend to slowly destroy it bit by bit.

Beautifully written but so sad.

[Victoria Lee~]

Dale, This was really a great write. As I read it I could not help wondering if the building was really a metaphor for something that lies within? Excellent write my friend!

[Ellen Hammond]

Beautiful metaphors! A beautiful structure, like a beautiful person, can feel empty and hollow when there is no love inside. And the defenses we develop to keep from being hurt again can keep out all but the most persistant. Too often when we have tentatively let someone get too close, the relationship falls apart, leaving us feeling like our time and emotions were only rented or borrowed for as long as it served the need of the other. But, true love can permeated the steel walls, walk across that broken glass, and kindle a fire before you even suspect it is happening.

Deep and interesting write.

[Lizanne]

Feel this is more a human than a building. We lay traps so that others cannot get close and we will not be hurt emotionally again. No one special enters the life and stays very long. Everyone seems to be looking for something else. stay long enough to provide hope and then are gone. But then you do live in an earthquake zone. Could be a building that no one can see the beauty of anymore except the person that took time to go inside and look around and seeing the value there. Much like lookin inside a person for the true value that lays hidden from sight. Beautiful and deep.

[Stacey Watts]

Nice job. You know this says so much. It is amazing how we have a tendacy to depreciate things before they are even broke in good. Very well done.

[cest la vie]

What a deeply, moving piece. Like your other reviewers, is it about a building/human? Perfect as it can really apply to many things. Very nice write here!!