Epitaph

  

Mechanical rhythm…

 

Once connected heartbeat

Now out of synch

With the spirit

It has given life to.

 

Under the gun…

 

Letting the trigger

Do the talking

Taking a bullet

To stop the bleeding.

 

Out on the run…

 

Painting the town

With any color

Not already drained

Through lonely wounds.

 

Now I will write

My own epitath

While I still have time.

 

Here lies a man

Cursed by three little words.

They were his disease

They were his cure

They were what he lived for

They were the reason he died.

 

 

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Wow.. great emotions placed into this coming from your heart.. with deep flow and intensity dropping at the point of the doom of 3 words and where it can take us.. what I like about this is I believe this can touch many as the three words can be a variety of things such as I Love You.. I hate you.. Please marry me.. Please leave me.. and so on..with an unhappy ending... it represents 3 words that can break a person coming from someone close usually.. that hurt intensely from just those words and unhappy ending. The metaphor truly is endless... could even be words from a publisher saying You can't write.. or and other dream shattered by words as well if you really read further into it.. this should touch a large audience of people... great insight with a sad note... thank you for sharing.. I hope things get better.. great work! =)

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

"Once connected heartbeat

Now out of synch

With the spirit

It has given life to.



Under the gun…"

Dale, I have felt these feelings.. You write with so much feeling... I am so happy to know you here .. this is well written though a little sad to read.. but there are no curses here ...feelings and emotions are strong .. a wonderful poem, to me though , no curses!

Chloe

[.]

there is no curse in those words..and you contradictions in your epitaph are as apparent in the lives we live..the last stanza was outstanding..no other words.

[Jenny Nelson]

Very powerful words and very powerful write. So sad.

[Tracie Skarbo]

oh my god...I think this is the most haunting thing I have ever read in my life!

Painting the town
With any color
Not already drained
Through lonely wounds.

These lines were my favorites...red as red can get.

This captivates me and I wonder what those three words were? I thought "You have cancer" could have been one of them...and his choice to go out on his own accord. Very nicely done

[Stacey Watts]

Very deep and emotional. The three words can make or break a person. Words from the heart and emotion of the poet. Very well written. Excellent piece.

[cest la vie]

wow!!
What a visual, richly deep with emotional write. I was not expecting this.
"Painting the town
With any color
Not already drained
Through lonely wounds"

Three words can reverse the chain of events on so many things. This is a wonderful write, because the reader has so many different interpretations he can take away. I love this Dale, really love this.

[Winter McPherson]

This was a different style - using different fonts gives the reader different feelings. My favorite lines -
"Letting the trigger

Do the talking

Taking a bullet

To stop the bleeding."

We bleed in many ways!

[Ladysue]

Dale, this was superb! Very powerful and the depth of emotion. I love this especially the last stanza. The ending really packs a punch. Beautifully sad, exquisitely done!

[Lizanne]

I read this last night, this morning and again tonight. A very intriguing piece of art. You paint a very vivid and emotional piecture with your word artistry. Those three words must be immesely important to you and I honor your privacy about them. But please let me say, "If a picture is worth a thousand words, then what a picture a thousand words could paint. You painted a master piece with 90 words.

[Susan]

wow! what emotions you have put in to this powerful poem. I can feel the pain dripping in the poem...I have been there at least once in my life and hope that i dont ever have to feel that depth of pain again.
Wonderful poem.