Reborn

  

Hand of stone

Grip my throat

Every time your lips

Give me a kiss.

 

My eyes bleed

The truth you need

As a sacrifice

To your superficial life.

 

Thinking I am nothing

But another experiment

In a game of love

You learned so young.

 

Make no mistake

My life you won’t take

You left me for dead

But I will rise again.

 

Now I will become

Everything you lost

Haunting your soul

With a determined goal.

 

Killing you with kindness

Till the old you is dead

And you can be reborn

To what love really holds.

Reviews

[Honeypot]

I think this is a sad piece, but its also hopeful like in the last stanza:

Killing you with kindness
Till the old you is dead
And you can be reborn
To what love really holds.

She may not necessarily deserve kindnes, but that's what she's going to get until she comes to her senses. I think its wonderful.

[LadyNaida]

Very good, it's sort of like killing someone with kindness that hates your guts; that is the way to get to them. That gets them all the time, they don't know how to act around you either because they can't figure you out.

[Shellie]

AM......WOW!!!!!
This is fantastic writing, love the whole thing.

[Katchzen]

"Now I will become everything you lost". Wow. That's chilling. (The whole poem, but that one line especially.)

[MagiCrystal]

Killing you with kindness

Till the old you is dead

And you can be reborn

To what love really holds....!
Love it.... and bravo... bravo...!...Dellito..!

!....Love this amazing word... ...!.......................... The old you ... ! whoa

[zer0]

A decent poem.

The short lines give it a lively, staccato rhythm that propels the reader through.

The rhyme, as erratic and inconsistent as it may be, still seems to work well in this piece.

The language use is simple and clear, which makes for the clarity of your potent imagery.

I love the tone's bitter, resentful edge also.

Good work. Keep it up.

[Cherry Berry]

A sad and slightly bitter piece, but still this piece holds a determined love, and faith in that love. Well penned.

xox
Cherri

[Last Lying Look]

I really like this;
"Thinking I am nothing
But another experiment
In a game of love
You learned so young."
I like the edge and determination in this piece.
Great work!
-Elissa :)

[Hoshi Nami]

"My eyes bleed

The truth you need

As a sacrifice

To your superficial life."
wow. what a powerful message. the idea of truth needing to be sacrificed in order to live a superficial life is a very harsh reality and i think that most people look over this idea and don't see the truth in it. bravo.

[ANT]

I loved it! Beautiful work.