Ocean Desperado

 

Melancholy heart

Heading for disaster

EPIC…  of Titanic essence

 

Sunken memories

Lost at sea

Relics… treasures in a pirate’s chest

 

Gasping though hoping… to suffocate

Take my last breathe before

Being washed ashore…

 

Maybe

Just maybe

It’s where I should be

 

On an island

 

       Deserted… surrounded by sharks.

 

 

Reviews

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As of late I've been reading some very diverse writing from you RRC. This only confirms how much depth and flexibility your creative mind possesses. It is a true gift indeed to be able to compose such outstanding works. I love the last 2 lines. It was both unexpected and surrendering. I also like the rhythm. Nice work.

[ANNA]

I could picture this! Very good writing! like to creative words you use..as always! ;)

Much love n respect,
anna
Amazing!!

[JacJak]

I especially liked the similarity between the deserted island and the relics in a treasure chest that I get when I read this.
The simple choice of words made me understand clearly what was happening emotionally.

[LlamaLord]

Great work here. There was some imagery in places, and in others, there weren't; which really adds variety to writing. Nice work here :)

[Seriana]

Ouch. I like the brevity of this, and the these. Wonderfully placed words expressing the helplessness of being stranded within ourselves. Tarnished memories and fading thoughts. Nice Dale!

[JC]

I've really missed reviewing your work.

Although this is painfully sad, I like the use of metaphors to convey what the writer is feeling.


A little tricky on the flow, but over all a great read.

JC

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

Are you punishing yourself? Or have you just come to the conclusion that you did not handle something very well? Any way, you realized something.... maybe it is not to late and the sharks can wait.....

I like the presentation and the easy feel of this.....

Kath

[Angelic Darkness]

Life can do that to us, just feed us to the sharks and let it be over with,
why suffer. Our past sometimes haunts the memories that won't let
us live.

This is a good poem...the emotional pulls us in and we relate.

AD

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

OMG!!!!! I can surely relate!!!!!

-Sunken memories
Lost at sea
Relics� treasures in a pirate's chest

I'm feeling this poem with all the old memories running through my head, you put to words just how I've been thinking and finding myself lost for words. Thanks for this one I'm printing it so I can read it over and over. I loved this it really hit the spot. :)

[Laura E. Aranda]

what a humourous ending!!!!!

[Spoken]

wow, deserted on an island surrounded by sharks.. doesn't get more lonely and final than that. Hopefully it's where you should be so you can see the strength you have to find your way out of any situation..

Gasping though hoping� to suffocate

this line stood out most to me, as i can relate. wanting to end it all but hope still keeps you hanging on, so you pray something will step in and finish the job.

very powerful piece about the pain of so much love gone wrong.