Frostbite

  

I’m lost…

In myself and my feelings

Thinking bout stupidity

In not trusting you.

 

 

I can’t…

Find a way to reverse

The actions I created

That haunts me.

 

 

I know…

How much I lost

When I drove your heart

Far away.

 

I got…

Nothing to compensate

For the only one

Who saved me.

 

 

I’ve decided…

 

To freeze my heart in time

For the bitter cold is now

My only shield from the pain…

 

And

Frostbite is a better friend to me

Then I was to you.

 

 

Reviews

[J.P. Bristow]

Ouch..this work is definately from the heart so I cannot fault form or cadence........you tore your heart out and left it on the stage......alone in the spotlight. But I agree with reviews below it takes two..though the fault can be when one chooses to lead not knowing the steps. I hope next time you'll find a partner who likes the way you dance......just the way you are.

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

Wow this is deff a strong poem!!!
It's kind of like u put the blaim on ur self for hurting her but most likely there would be a reason for such a thing to occur!
Great write!!
Kudos!!!

[Belinda Rice]

WOW THIS WAS SOME REALLY HEART FELT BREAKING DOWN STUFF BUT A VERY WELL WRITTEN POEM...DALE I TOLD YOU YOU HAVE THAT HAND AND YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THAT INCORDIANCE WITH YOUR MIND.....YOU ARE JUST ONE AMAZING WRITTER WITH A WONDERFUL SOUL..YOU POOR YOUR HEART OUT IN HERE, YOU SHOWED THE HOW BAD YOU FELT BY DRIVING THE PERSON AWAY SO FAR AWAY AND THAT ALONE IS ENOUGH SAID KOODO'S...

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

oh how sad... the thing is many of us keep up 'walls' to protect ourselves and our hearts... but the problem with the walls are that we miss out on things and trusting the ones we love... and sadly getting hurt in the game of love is just a part of life... no matter how we try not to...

great piece

[Adrian K. Smith]

It is not often that we can accept the blame for the pain we have caused ourselves, and it is indeed a bold piece to be able to proclaim that fault and accept it as you have done here. The last time I tried to accept the blame for the pain I had caused another and myself, I did it with far too many shots of whiskey in too short a time - puked - and went to bed (thank God I have never had a hangover). I like the progression of the form itself, leading to the point where the heart is frozen in time as a bitter reminder of perhaps what to avoid next time. That heart will thaw, and the mistakes of the past will not be repeated (okay, maybe I am typing this more for myself to read - I have been here and done this, and I almost did it again). Excellent write, man...

[Gandré]

Hello Dale this is a piercing poem full of sadness. I like the lines that carried your messagea with sensible and honest retrospective thoughts.
I hoped to say hello in Jenny s last show but you didn t call in. Be well

[Prudence Desideria]

Oh the vicious circles of trust, love, friendship, and frostbites... All smoothly wrapped together in delicious words. Love it :) *snuggles up with some hot choco against the cold outside for mood*
I have to say, I am a big fan of the formatting on this one. I love the big font vs the small, the way not only the words but the actual look of the poem is a battle laid out plain and bare for all to see. It feels very much like a heart still protected but put out in final acknowledgement, maybe not to say it would have changed anything even if there was time, but at least there is truth (bitter or not) and frank facts... Does that even make sense *scratches head*?
No, but really... It's a very enjoyable piece, and I do adore it. Thanks for sharing with us all! :)
xo hun

[Emily B]

I just sent you a read request. Somehow it seemed like something you needed to read, and then finding this . . .

You've pulled your heart out and pinned it here for all to see. That takes courage. I hope your words find a home to welcome them. I hope you can mend the bridges. Friendship is important; love and trust an absolute necesity in our lives. Do what you can.

[Spoken]

great great ending. This was clearly written by your heart and it was well felt in your words. true it may be easier to freeze your heart, feeling nothing is always easier than feeling pain, but wouldn't it be something if you just.. let your heart ache.. and came out of the cold forever changed..

[Angel Bird]

Outstanding!
Strong impact on emotions and mind!
Very effective style!
Kudos!

A favorite!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Very nicely written... One of my favorites of yours. Thank you for sharing. Debileah