Dark Cloud

  

Dark cloud

Please stay above me

And keep the harmful rays

Of blissful days

From burning any feelings

I have left.

 

Dark cloud

Show me how to cry

With magnum force

To relieve the pressure

In this human dam

Of misery.

 

Dark cloud

Please surround my heart

So no more emotions

Can find their way in

And destroying hope

Of happiness.

 

Dark cloud

As you drain the tears

From my soul

You are also squeezing out

Any breath I have left.

 

I guess I can never live.

Reviews

[Mysty Rayn]

Very powerful. Very emotional. There have been many days I have felt like this. They always pass. I promise they do. It may never seem sunny days will come again, it may seem you never want to see them again, but they sneak up on us and they can be so beautiful when they do. I hope this dark cloud passes for you, I hope there will be a day you want it to. I do understand how you feel at this moment. I have been there too many times before.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

very sad and beautiful piece of writing... but you cant hide under the dark clouds to avoid life... moving on makes you stronger ...

[Nely Amorim]

This is a deeply despairing write and I felt very similiar to the one you recently reviewed of mine, I think i know how your feeling. Great work and thanks for sharing.

[poetforlife]

Sad and beautiful. Depressing and moving. You have great talent. Keep writing. It is great therapy!

[Colleen C Dunphy]

As raw as the storms those dark clouds come from, and as powerful as ever.
Every moving. Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing this with us.
Best always,
Lee

[Blackbirdsong]

This is very powerful and raw. You really define what these kinds of dark days feel like. Thankfully though those dark clouds always pass, but while they linger those moments do seem endless.

[emmajoy]

Your poem says so much, so very sorry.

May our Lord walk with you and show you how to smile again.

[Adrian K. Smith]

I like the use of a dark cloud instead of the typical use of walls, it adds more power to the piece - dark clouds being somewhat dynamic - stormy - the potential for chaos as opposed to static walls which can be almost tedious at times. It is interesting though, how even in this piece as it is in many pieces like this - where it is the character of the work that is dooming themselves - inviting in the dark clouds, thinking that perhaps they will shield them from pain, but knowing that in the end they will only consume them. This is a hopeful piece, as it provides the negative of what can happen if you do this - you will literally cause yourself no end of problems and misery - as opposed to welcoming the Sun and allowing yourself to enjoy all that life has to offer... rather than trying to hide away and wasting it all. Too many people do not think this out, and find out too late - a piece like this speaks so true to the dismal path of self-torment that can be created if one follows this path - and as such, it lets everybody know this is not the path they want to follow. An excellent write, letting us all know where we do not want to go. Thank you for sharing.

NOTE: I have heard that this review may have been taken as dismissive of Cowboy's feelings and what he may be going through. I found inspiration in the poem, it is what I saw for me. Not all of us are running around happy sappy all the f*****g time so that when somebody writes something like this we just say we it was great and we hope you feel better. Some of us are f*****g heading down that same path. Some of us do not want to head down that f*****g path again. This reminded me of the s**t if I go down that path, and I did not want that f*****g s**t. So it is what it is... f*****g deal with it or f*****g do not. It is not my issue, it is your f*****g issue. Again, Cowboy... thank you for sharing this.

[Angelic Darkness]

Love this dark poem. The dark ones seem to bring out the most
inside us, bringing out who we really are. Thanks for sharing...AD

[Lori]

Very emotional. I love how you stick with your metaphor and let it gather more power -- like a thunderstorm building and building, and the sky ready to rip open.

[Spoken]

I love how you've used the symbolism of a dark cloud "sad depressing" and flipped it in a way that made it almost a blessing, like please come dark clouds and help me to release myself from this. When you hit bottom death can feel like your savior.. your 'way out'.. great tone and powerful emotion!