I wish I had read this before I made some of the choices I made... Of course it took a wet road, 3 beers and an oak tree to wake me up. That commercial is very true: "Buzzed driving is drunk driving." I was lucky that the only thing that was killed was my buzz and my wallet. I didn't even get a DUI; the breathalyzer came back below the limit, but I know the alcohol caused the accident.
The way you put it into verse was fantastic. It imparts an awesome message and if it is remembered by one person who chooses to call a cab instead of chancing it, then this poem will serve its purpose nobly. Wonderful job (:
You know my friend, I think this is one of those topics one cannot write enough about.
Great work bringing forth the complete and utter selfishness that goes with drinking and driving. I lost a very dear friend earlier this year because of a drunk driver and the worst part it was during the day in the week, I mean how selfish can one person possibly be. Hmm, it is a sickness, that his family, his newly born child who will never know her dad and wife will have to live with for the rest of their lives.
Brilliantly said, I couldn't have done it any better even if I tried!
Please hand me a match! I have this weird pyro part to me ... I like fire. I wanna dump the gas and beer in a line and watch it go up in flames. I'm weird like that. :-P
This piece is very alive. I like it.
Posted 16 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
I like the "guzzle, guzzle" part. The message is very good. They should read this at my school when we have our "Prom talk" about safe driving, etc.
Good point sadly not shouted loud enough. Very worringly this is something that happens in every country in the world - although I'm sure someone will point out this is a particularly crass statement with a series of statistics proving me wrong - but you know what I'm getting at.
Natalie has also written a poem about a friend of hers killed by a drink driver.
While the message is important, it is done in a way that keeps the reader engaged, without sounding preachy.
I could picture myself at a reading, with the author holding his writing in one hand and fist in the air with the other. I think the last part is most poingant, others may forgive, but you never forgive yourself.
Great use of analogy, imagery and flow.
Kudos and thanks for the invite.
I wish I had read this before I made some of the choices I made... Of course it took a wet road, 3 beers and an oak tree to wake me up. That commercial is very true: "Buzzed driving is drunk driving." I was lucky that the only thing that was killed was my buzz and my wallet. I didn't even get a DUI; the breathalyzer came back below the limit, but I know the alcohol caused the accident.
The way you put it into verse was fantastic. It imparts an awesome message and if it is remembered by one person who chooses to call a cab instead of chancing it, then this poem will serve its purpose nobly. Wonderful job (:
It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool
About
Birth name: Dale Deadmond
Born November 20th, 1969
Metaphorically speaking music is my BFF and poetry is my soulmate.
This is my world of
my favorite poets are E.A. Poe, Dylan Thomas, R.. more..