Hmmm...

just some funny thought I had and decided to share.

So the other night at my families Fourth of July celebration a discussion about their new cat came up and my sister mentioned that they just got him fixed.  Now of coarse I’ve always found that to be somewhat of a funny term cause technically aren’t you breaking the poor cat.  I mean everything worked fine in the first place.  So that got me thinking about certain sayings people use everyday but don’t really make sense.

 

How about this one.  When someone says a family member has died our natural reply and even I’ve been guilty of this is to say, “I’m sorry to hear that.”  Now we know what is meant by it but if you think about it that kinda sound rude.  You almost want to reply, “Well excuse me for telling you.”

 

Then there is that common reply when someone asked how you slept.  People often say, “I slept like a baby” when they had a good night sleep.  Now I’ve always been tempted to say to someone “Oh you mean you were up all night crying and crapping in your pants, why don’t you get at least twenty feet away from me.”

 

Now I also love when you ask a person how they are feeling and they answer, “I’m sick as a dog.”  So what does that mean your nose is dry cause usually when a dog is sick they have a dry nose and many times we are our nose is wet and runny.  I think we could label that as an oxymoron.

 

Of coarse there is the other end of that spectrum when someone might say, “I’m healthy as a horse.”  Once again I say what.  “To bad you ain’t as fast as one then I could enter you in the Kentucky Derby and make some money” is the smart a*s reply I’m always wanting to say in that situation, in fact a couple times I did.

 

Now this next one isn’t a saying but something that still makes no sense to me.  That is a softball.  Now anyone who has ever been hit by one of these, especially in the groin area can relate that they are anything but soft.  Let’s call them what they are, a baseball with an over inflated ego.  The only softballs I know of are nerf balls.

 

Anyways just a few funny thoughts that came to my head and figured I would share with the world whether they wanted to hear it or not.  You know inflict a bit of mindless humor on all my friends and anyone else who read this.

 

Reviews

[THERISA]

LOL, thanks Dale. As for the softball, its softer, than the hardball used, in baseball, but that don't mean a hill of beans, if you get hit by either one of them. My personal fave is, "are you done, yet?" Which one of my mom's brothers struck a fork in her thigh, when she said, "yes".

[Janice Ann]

Firstly the title of the piece is my favorite of all non-words...lol...I say humm like it is part of my religion...so naturally it sparked my curiosity...lol...I have to say that this was quite funny to read! Made me laugh! Good job!
Janice Ann

[Brianna Brie]

Did you ever notice that children take our sayings literally which leaves them confused half the time. Did you ever wonder why we drive on the parkway and park in a driveway? The English language certainly doesn't like to follow its own rules. Thanks for sharing those oxymoron's.

[Helen Woodward]

HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO this is not only funny, but true!! That is why it is so funny! We in Australia have a saying (not sure if you have it there) "I don't give a rats arse" What the hell????????? I had a good belly laugh reading this Dale, very clever and observant writing, thank you for the giggle...
Helen :-)

[Cardinal Robin]

I liked this, enough to read it to the end, and now I'll tell you a few of my faves,
"how are you doing?" "Not bad , for the likes of me."
"If you keep that up, you can probably have your way with me"
"That's Funny..." "Funny Ha Ha or Funny Strange" ...NOTE: usually nothing "funny" in this case
"If you were the best there was, they would never have invented the wheel" Arnold S in Raw Deal...yeah!
"Damn....you got knocked the F*#* Out!" Chris Tucker in Fridays...

Lastly, since I'm a stage performer, at parties my friends and I will approach someone if they're complaining or worrying too much about their life, and pretend to turn a big crank on their side, as though they will Pop, goes the weasel! Funny looks all around...with a bit of "you jerks!"
Thanks for your light hearted sharing here!
Robin

[Larissa G.]

This made me laugh, because it's true. There are many things only humans do, and that's the way I see it. :)

[Brette Medb]

Haha it really is true. I feel bad for people who come to English speaking countries and try to understand our weird sayings and odd phrases which reminds me of another one

Straight from the horses mouth... now you have me thinking of all the odd, not quite so true sayings. Thanks for this it made me laugh!


Brette

[Wildfleour]

Freakin hilarious and so true!!!!!!!!

Of coarse - of course