This is a very sad piece and my heart holds the tears on this emotional write. I know this tune, it breaks my heart to feel the lonely exhale. This is an excellent write Dale...Ralphy
Oh my, how heartfelt - I can really empathize with this feeling. Nice connection with nature and relationships - the hole that needs to be filled within all of us. Well done.
Light and Love,
Siddartha
This is the first piece I read since returning to the cafe today. I now the the true importance of air, I will no longer participate in destroying it by adding my own smoke i exhale from my lungs. You don't realize how precious breathing is until can't without oxegen.
Well written Dale and a message that needs to get out there. Our air is a gift that needs not to be abused.
Being alone is like sitting in a black cloud. Maybe that cloud hides all the other 'stuff' though so we can really test our thoughts, test our feelings; i'm not sure really, still working it out for myself.
Your poem is incredibly moving, reaches into the head and heart. Words have incredible power. You seem to be so sad in this very finely created post, it runs smoothly, no broken areas where phrases bend into the wrong shape or can be misinterpreted.
' Now I wonder if it's too late
For now when I search
The clear blue sky
All I can see for miles is
The ozone layer with a hole,
Like the one in my heart.'
Guess we can't do too much about the hole in the ozone layer but, but, we can find a cure for the hole in the heart more love you give, God willing, the more might be shared.
Smile a little smile, go write something happy and optimistic. Thank you for sharing.
This is a good write. There is something serene about this...the flow,
the freedom, yet the sadness, but it all works well together.
Thank you also for my review. AD
Such an interesting use of oxygen as a symbol of our emotions. I liked this one a lot. The twist at the end landed directly where it should have. In the hollowness of our fears. Well done!
Oh Dale, you really got me with this one. You are such a gifted writer. They way you express yourself is not only beautiful but it comes with a certain talent that can produce such a feeling to all who read. You have a great flare. This was very sad, but I think it speaks for so many people in this world. Your writing touches people. I think so many people can relate to this piece and I think that is what makes an excellent writer.
My favorite lines... They are brilliantly expressed and convey the message perfectly!!!
The ozone layer with a hole,
Like the one in my heart.
As I breathe in this lonely air
My biggest fear fills my chest
That I'll exhale alone.
Really an excellent and impressive write, my friend!
It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool
About
Birth name: Dale Deadmond
Born November 20th, 1969
Metaphorically speaking music is my BFF and poetry is my soulmate.
This is my world of
my favorite poets are E.A. Poe, Dylan Thomas, R.. more..