Dale! One of your best pieces of poetry. You really found a connection to the reader, raw, painful humanity....but have painted it so beautifully I had a bit of unknowing which to like more...the fact that the piece read to a human condition that is oh so real to every person....or that it was done so smoothly that a ghirardelli chocolate bar would have a hard time competing.
Wow...your words are so powerful and moving. Love the ending as others have mentioned. I can relate to the emotions here. You have some great imagery and I love how you compare your feelings to things in nature or the universe like the ozone layer, wind, etc. Nicely done my friend!
yes,,, I concur with kara,, its not good ,,, but then again it's only words,, they come from all over the place
not knowing if you feel this for fiction,, thats the beauty of poetry,, it a fine line,, and reagarless
what comes out it truth from the heart,, great work,,,
This was very painful to read, it speaks of devastating despair of lonliness and it hurt to read that last line. I knew it was coming, was just waiting for the delivery.
Any poem that illecits an emotion, is outstanding.
Powerfully sad.. comparing the hole in your heart to the one in the ozone.. pretty big and deep! Your ending equally touching breathing in lonely air and wondering if you will exhale your last breaths alone! I sure hope you find someone truly wonderful, loving, unique, sexy and everything you are looking for to exhale with one day!!! Thank you for sharing... =)
It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool
About
Birth name: Dale Deadmond
Born November 20th, 1969
Metaphorically speaking music is my BFF and poetry is my soulmate.
This is my world of
my favorite poets are E.A. Poe, Dylan Thomas, R.. more..