This is inspired by my favorite book Phantom Of The Opera... it takes a look through the eyes of the phantom as I see it. I hope you enjoy my interpretation.
My Review
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Wow! I like this Dale, This is wonderful I like this write alot, very well written.
Yes someday they will see
That this is my world
They are living in
And if they refuse to bow to my religion
Then they can burn in my hell.
I love these lines here, It's kinda says to me
if you can't live by my God
You must burn you don't fit in my world. So Iike this.
You have penned a most amazing write I think.
Damn.!!!!!!! I'm so blow away by the strenght to your poem!!
what a freaking amazing way of putting it! I REALLY REALLY LIKE this the most. Why did I write this..lol
I love the part where you said:
Soon they will learn
Or it will be
Their blood
That will become
My lifeline.....................BRILLIANT!!!
Wait who is this insolent boy
Who courts my lady's affections
Oh when will they learn
That to betray me
Means the hangman's noose.....Genuis line, so clever
This cannot be
How can she be?
It isn't possible.
Her love belongs to
ME!!..........Love how you put ME!!!! lol it all about me damn it ;)
Such a stunning piece..so my fav
Much love n respect,
Anna
I love how you give this poem an egocentric edge...using the ego to reflect the speaker's philosophy is a very creative approach.
your word choice and how you present "your" view is very artistic...you strategically lead the reader through the speaker's mind and there is a VERY nice flow...there is no word by word or line by line in this poem just pure sentiment...feeling the speaker's indignation...your verb usage is very powerful.
there is skill and imagination in your title...you stick to what is known yet reinventing...captures the mystery and enchantment
"These catwalks have become
A sanctuary for my shadow
To roam free from torment
As I keep a steady eye
On the unsuspecting characters
In my twisted play."...I love your first stanza...there is a lot of sensuality at play in your words...teetering between the realm of romance and tragedy...BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED!
"The night is my only friend
For it is when my music
Takes flight
Blissfully echoing
Through the corridors
Sung by my greatest creation"...there is an air of vulneribility...I might add this is my favorite stanza.
thank you so very much for sharing this with me...I enjoyed it very much so...you are truly a talented poet!
This is a supremely well written version (short version) of the Phantom and for any who don't know the story will have a vision of what it entails, I think it would entice someone to go out and buy the book or see the story.. lovely work and thanks for entering it in my contest, your definately a contender..lol
yet another surprise...I LOVE the Phantom! This captures the true essence of the story...the folly of humans when they believe they are not flawed and cannot be controlled by anything other than their own will/desire. The assumption that we control our destiny, our world, and create our own paths...when all the while there is a Greater Being who wrote our script LONG AGO!! I also twisted this a bit and read as if that "greater being" were talking to Himself..."In my twisted play.
How can those pitiful fools
Believe they own the stage
When it is I,
With my own sweat and blood
That made this place
What it is
What I want it to be.
Soon they will learn
Or it will be
Their blood"
brings to mind the whole "wrath of God" thing: God created man to have free will , yet was disappointed when man put it to use.
"Consider me nothing more than
A Phantom
When in reality I am
The GOD of this Opera House." again the religious twist: people don't believe in what they can't see...God is just a fading memory, a "folk tale", yet He keeps proving over and over again "vengeance is mine".
I read this twice, first time because I wanted to see if you were the mad all seeing, terrifiying anti- hero or the love-lost almost terrified man - after the second reading I realised that you were both. This is a great piece of writing because you've showed the Phantom as the man he was, scarred inside and out but, very human. You really got inside him, maybe because you know the character so well through this or that medium. You've used the show, the songs, very cleverly.
'How can those pitiful fools /Believe they own the stage /When it is I,/With my own sweat and blood /That made this place /What it is /What I want it to be.' So appreciate the skill of those words, lines - they really do sum up the Phantom, his thinking, his life in the darkness.
The Phantom is one of my 'favourite' characters too, mainly because in spite of everything, there's something so vunerable inside. And, isn't he what's in all of us, dark and light; life/experience maims the being in any of many ways, but inside there's a need to be accepted for what's the core of the human being. Maybe too much interpretation from me?.
Thank you for letting me share an extremely fine piece of writing. There ARE many facets to your writing and now i realise that.
It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool
About
Birth name: Dale Deadmond
Born November 20th, 1969
Metaphorically speaking music is my BFF and poetry is my soulmate.
This is my world of
my favorite poets are E.A. Poe, Dylan Thomas, R.. more..