What You Can Not See

What You Can Not See

A Poem by The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)

  

Shadows creep along rusted walls

Using the cover of night’s blanket

To whisper things never spoken

Only to choke on their own tongues.

 

Without a voice they carve it in stone

Using fingernails until they bleed

Making the sacrifice for all they seek

In attempts to destroy mankind’s alter ego.

 

Wrapped up in stealth tendencies and using

Superficial death as the weapon of choice

To bring down the enemy that built this great wall

And find the source of its evil power.

 

Relentless and against popular demand

Tirelessly they work without praise

For it is that you cannot see

That can build or destroy your dreams.

© 2009 The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)


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Maybe the political prison, with no government to speak up for us. Could be inscribing our own tombstones from the lack of fighting back against this monster that we have allowed to grow and is now consuming us.
If that is correct then we know the source of its evil power. Popular demand is to allow it to continue to grow in presence until common man is so far gone that government takes over the management of our children creating a civilization of human drones to do their bidding. Perhaps we are on the cusp of an uprising or rebellion. Whatever the outcome, this is a brillantly dark and visual writing. I can actually see the finger writing on the wall. A wonderful metaphor filled work.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

ohh wow... great job on this one... the last two lines are so true. But it is also how and what you do with what you can see that will build a strong foundation. I struggled to find a part that I liked more then the others. But I can't do it... so all of it is going in my favs. Great job!

Posted 14 Years Ago


I love the last line in this poem. This is so thought evoking and makes you take a deep look at things that go on around you. Not every aspect of life is what it seems at first. Great job as always

Posted 14 Years Ago


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Bud
This is a deep and tantalizing piece, Dale! Very much a thought provoking piece...that is a good thing. Your Master hand has done it again! Astonishing!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You speak as if you have taken league with the legion. I find this especially charismatic for its subject matter. Wonderfully written. Exceptionally descriptive. Well done.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Without a voice they carve it in stone
Using fingernails until they bleed

great description, gives a grossum flash to the mind.

Superficial death as the weapon of choice.... i really like this line also. It describes so perfectly what can tear someone apart.... "superficial death" makes me think of a scratch or wound that if left alone to heal it would be fine, but if we pick at it and make it more than it is it can infect us. Awesome as usual


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Maybe the political prison, with no government to speak up for us. Could be inscribing our own tombstones from the lack of fighting back against this monster that we have allowed to grow and is now consuming us.
If that is correct then we know the source of its evil power. Popular demand is to allow it to continue to grow in presence until common man is so far gone that government takes over the management of our children creating a civilization of human drones to do their bidding. Perhaps we are on the cusp of an uprising or rebellion. Whatever the outcome, this is a brillantly dark and visual writing. I can actually see the finger writing on the wall. A wonderful metaphor filled work.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

What you cannot see so many things in my opinion can apply to this brilliant piece. This was absolutely we written. I like the flow and the imagery. You always build an intriguing story. This is a excellent piece.


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yes, I have to agree with one of the reviews below - its very edgy. Is this about war? The CIA? You've got my curiosity peaked......I can't figure it out. But its a great write! Very cool......

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wonderful! Goodness.....what an I say, it's lovely! x0x00x
makes you tink.....hum x0x0x0

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Holy. This was wonderfully written... I loved it. "Without a voice they carve it in stone, Using fingernails until they bleed, Making the sacrifice for all they seek, In attempts to destroy mankind's alter ego." BEST lines! Edgy.

Posted 15 Years Ago



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15 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 7, 2008
Last Updated on February 18, 2009

Author

The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)
The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)

It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool



About
Birth name: Dale Deadmond Born November 20th, 1969 Metaphorically speaking music is my BFF and poetry is my soulmate. This is my world of my favorite poets are E.A. Poe, Dylan Thomas, R.. more..

Writing