This Street

Life's journey

This street is marred by cracks

from so many drives to nowhere

and strangers passing through

leaving trails of smoke drifting.

 

Though a bit dirty and dingy

its character still distinctly shines

from the constant touch of sunrays

upon the asphalt’s thick soul.

 

It’s survived so many floods

by letting the waters drain away

and stood the test of earthquakes

firmly planted on solid ground.

 

This street has been paved

by my own two working hands

with no destination in mind

just a way to take the journey.

 

Now as the road gets longer

I only hope the direction I took

will lead to the Garden of Eden

or at least a place to call home.

 

Reviews

[Collette]

I love the parallel you drew here. Each man forms his own road, much like each man forms his own life. You've done an excellent job with the imagery. These lines were GOLD:

from the constant touch of sunrays
upon the asphalt's thick soul.

They just stood out in my mind so clearly. Likewise, this stanza was amazing:

Now as the road gets longer
I only hope the direction I took
will lead to the Garden of Eden
or at least a place to call home.

Such hope in your moving words, thank you for sharing!

[Lorraine Pearson]

"will lead to the Garden of Eden or at least a place to call home." Hopefully, these two places are synonymous for you my phantome cowboy friend! Cool write!
~Lorraiyne

[Rain]

I think this is one of your best. It has a feel to it that is unique. It actually felt like Rt 66. lol. Rain..

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

great piece - love the end finding that place to call home
fantastic

[Gary H]

Nice metaphorical piece Dale. Particularly enjoyed the last stanza as it takes the street into a road of destiny. Well done for keeping this universal. When I first started reading I had in mind a US location but by the end I realised this was a poem for us all.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

::sigh:: a place to call home. :) that's all our souls really want, eh?

This street has been paved

by my own two working hands

with no destination in mind

just a way to take the journey.


that was my favorite verse. so well done. i love the way you made the symbolic street almost tangible, its rough ways and smoothed spots, and the journey within the whole process.

big hugs

[Mariah]

i love the hidden meaning behind this,
that you're actually talking about life.
wonderful.

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

This is very nice. I like the concept (we pave our own path). It sure seems that way sometimes. Other times it seems that we are completely out of the loop. Personally, it would probably be better off if someone else carved out the path that I should take but then I wouldn't follow it anyway.
Nice writing. Thanks for sharing.
Love All, Mejasha

[Robert Luna]

Life is a journey the paths and direction it takes us on is only determined by the decision we make along the way. People that we have loved and do love all as a result of where we have been that have lead us to the point in time that we meet them. I think you are finding yourself even more these days. I am in awe that the positive nature of your words and the feeling of the wisdom you seemed to have learned.

May peace be with you on the journey of life.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

great use of metaphors, this is indeed a favorite. wonderfully written, nicely done.


Great Write
Rayne

[Lionel Braud]

I like the layer of metaphors used to describe this proverbial street, really shows the wear and tear as well as the endurance, this is a good analogy for old age.