Unearthly Sacrifice

A chofu- 6 lines with a 5-2-7-5-2-7 syllable count

 

The sacrificial

Lamb has

Taken every day toxins,

Making itself a

Martyr

Battling the lion’s den.

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

A lamb that brings itself to slaughter … now there is a metaphor. Great write, Rn'R.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you so much :)

[MsJewel]

Great form and content. You rocked this one Cowboy!

:) Julie

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you sweetie :)

[Jennie Baron]

Yes, I like the form and the metaphor, although I must admit the "takin'" rather than "taken" was a little distracting. That's probably my English-major thinking coming through, though :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you ver much Jennie, I appreciate the honest feedback.

[Sheila Kline]

Interesting form - all in the name of martyrdom!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you Sheila… I enjoy doing this style now and then

[Lyn Anderson]

This is very neat, actually, but I would think taken rather than takin' when paired with has.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much for your review and wisdom.

[Matching Socks]

Chofu? I have never even heard of this!!
But I do love the wisdom in this poem.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you Ana, this style was developed by someone on here years ago… I still like to do one now and then