Cemetery Gates

 

The doors to my mind

often seem like cemetery gates

with all the lives

that have been left

to decay within my memory.

So much dirty remains

to make room for the metaphoric coffins

and discarded into the river

that is my veins,

it is no wonder some days

I feel so stiff and thoughts

flow like sludge.

There are more bones buried here

than a closet could hold,

it wouldn’t take much digging

for a hound of hell to gnaw on something

still gnawing at my soul.

Once it has been digested

in the bowels of the beast

I will be the one left with heartburn,

within those ashes the truth will

become a Phoenix

and me the empty urn.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Sorry Infamous]

I like the skeletons in the closet metaphor. Creative and dark. Many lives intertwine and everyone will leave a mark even if we have forgotten it...

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

That is so true, thank you for commenting.

[Nick.B]

Interesting dark piece, with a strong imaginary, great job

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

This is an original piece, I kind of felt it was more eerie than morbid, as every ending also represents a new beginning, excellent poetry

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much.

[Jack...]

Wow, this was so cool. I love the thought process here. This poem really brought it all home for me. I like the feel and the flow of this piece. Very nice indeed.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much.

[KAOlmsted]

(Pantera is one of my favorite bands and Cemetery Gates is one of my favorite tracks...but that is neither here nor there) ;-)

Holy cats, Dale. I love this concept, that the mind is a cemetery for all of the people who have come into your life and then, for whatever reason, left...I love the line "So much dirty remains" That was incredibly powerful. If someone put a gun to my head and told me I had to find one thing to critique, I think it would be the word "metaphoric" when describing the coffins. The entire piece is a metaphor (and a damn brilliant one, I might add) to say the coffins are metaphoric is kind of whacking us over the head with it, you know? If anyone goes away from this thinking you have literal coffins in your head well, no amount of explaining what a metaphor is will help them, bless their hearts xD

Exceptional write...

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

That is a very good point, I knew I could count on you to find an issue, kidding... seriously I get what you are saying... glad you liked it.

Pantera was a great band... so tragic when Dimebag was killed.

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure ;-) Oh my god I know :-(

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You ever heard their first album "Power Metal"? It was before Phil took Anselmo was on vocals. It is so bad it is funny.

[KAOlmsted]

Ha, no...I used to have Cowboys From Hell, Far Beyond Driven, and Vulgar Display of Power on CD back in the day...they got played a lot.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Vulgar is my favorite.

[KAOlmsted]

That would be like asking me to choose a favorite child xD

[s y e]

Wow, this one was brought to life! It was sad, dark and powerful. I loved it, the video was great too very fitting!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much... there is something bout death that brings a lot t life.

[MOON]

Poignant lovely write love the opening lines and metaphors. The truth a Phoenix and me an empty urn that resonates and ties up the poem perfectly.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much.

[Sheila Kline]

There are those moments, often too many of them, that eat away at us and cause us to feel as if we are being eaten alive. First of all, the outer shell starts to slip, then the inner part of us which can bring intolerable angst, and then comes the seemingly endless attacks at our spirit. Our bones seem to literally turn to ash, as you describe. It is then we feel as if we are "no more" among the living!
Dale, this is a profound write with prophetic undertones! Excellent!!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much... I appreciate your thoughts and glad you liked it.

[SM Davis]

poetic and inspirational at the same time. Reminds me of writer's block after finishing a big project. did you know that once completing spacial organizing such as what goes where (construction or home improvements) the left side of the brain gives way to the right side of the brain and it makes it difficult to recall vocabulary and writing/speech? I found that out in psyche class. So, if you are writing after doing physical work that requires spacial reasoning, your writing won't be nearly what you hope. Give it at least 60 minutes. :0)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Some great advice... I learn something new everyday.

[SM Davis]

:0) Your piece was worthy of 100 daisies which I doled out happily.