The Painful Truth

 

When your hand is

Gripping my heart

It creates a bond

That tears my layers

Apart at the seems.

You think you’re

Taking me to cloud nine

But with your talons

Piercing my flesh

You are just giving

My blood a wider target

To splat upon,

Spreading me thinner

Than the walls

That exposes our secrets.

Now I feel like a ghost

Stuck between heaven and hell

Till I clear up unfinished business.

So now I’m finished with you,

Its what I got to do

Before I wind up

Haunting my body

Like an abandoned house

With a tragic past.

Reviews

[SparrowSong]

Before I wind up
Haunting my body
Like an abandoned house
With a tragic past.

Whoa! Those lines say it all, I wished I had written them myself...what an image that conjures up, exceptional writing here. Very good to read you.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Wow thank you for that compliment.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Love can be dirty and bloody .. It makes a mess of our heart ..
I mended mine a thousand times
But back into battle I go .. ..

Thought-full . .. Jazzy x

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you so much for the review... I hear you, no matter how many times love has burned me I still play next to the fire.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome dear .. xx

[Renée]

Powerful emo in your write Cowboy ! Love the descriptions ..but darn those feelings just do not pass fast enough...

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you... I hear you on them not passing fast enough.

[Renée]

( :

[Baby Ricochet]

Love the ending. Great job

[Ruth]

The metaphor in this is superb :)
Always a lesson bestowed by your pen and open heart xoxo

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

The truth isn't always pretty but it brings closure.
Thanks doll face xoxo

[Circe]

I get a sense of tightness, constriction, a choking abruptness from the imagery, the piercing talons and thinning blood... maybe the truth does that to us, and you feel unsatisfied with the result.. a ghost with no resolution.... an honest solid piece.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

A very interesting analogy of my poem... I like it... thank you.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Great explosion of feelings, I like this, it's true and honest.
I wished more were like you, and nailed it like this so to the point.

So so powerful! I couldn't hold my eyes a second of the screen, captivating!

Thanks Dale :) always, a pleasure to be here.

E.L.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you so much... sometimes you can't beat around the bush when expressing your feelings.

You're so welcome... true true... and that's what I liked about you, and your write.

[Steven]

Oh, and "..the wall that exposes" or "..the walls that expose"

[Steven]

The first writing of yours I liked! (Just preference, you know) Nicely done. The only change I'd make is the wording near the end:

"It's what I have to do" or

"It's what I've got to do" are correct.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you sir.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Excellent read and write.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you.