I hate the way I am...

.dilemma.

My roots are deep.

My wings are strong.

...

And I hate the way I am

Hurting myself like this!

Reviews

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

reminds me of how I always feel sorry for myself, even though I am so lucky to have a good family, both parents with steady jobs, etc.
I feel you did a lot with this piece, but for a slam poem, it really doesn't dig under the skin. You would have to do some crazy stuff to play this off to a crowd. Possible, but really too thin for a slam. still, a great piece of writing. Best of luck

[Adela Muresan]

This is a geat short poem, but I think that the last verse needs a little work, I mean it's way to direct!
You need to lost the excalation sign and maybe change the verb.

Otherwise, what can I say, you fit a lot of emotions in very few words- witch is great.

Thank you for entering this in the ,,Confessions,, contest.

A.M.

[Writer CW Kirkland]

I think this poem had one of the elements of great writing: it makes the reader ponder the message. I certainly spent some time pondering your words. Instead of trying to understand your message, this poem made me question what it would mean to me. It seems that the person is stuck in a certain place with the desire to go somewhere else or do something different. The person in the poem is blaming himself/herself because he/she is not changing the current situation. This is how I read the message, and it thought it was poignant in few words.

[KayOss]

Hrm... At first, I did not know how to read this. My mind wanted to read the two lines in a different- more positive - way. However, this seemed at odds with the last two lines, which are negative. However, by giving the first two lines a more negative tone (My roots, as in root causes, are deep.), I was able to make it fit.

Then, I got an idea. Read what's written and no more. The juxtaposition of conflicting emotions struck me this time. It was an "ah-ha!" moment for me. This is quite simply brilliant. Even though the speaker has deep roots and and strong wings, he is still self-destructive. What's more, the speaker acknowledges this fact and shares that he hates it. I must admit that it was quite an adventure reading these few lines and I enjoyed every moment of it. Thanks so much for sharing!

[jen -- JG]

Not sure why but on some level I quite like this

Your first two lines seem to be at odd with each other until I thought about it

My roots are deep. - I take this to mean the darknes, the cause, the anger etc is deep within

My wings are strong. - I take this to mean that you have hope and persistence and an inner dtrength

And I hate the way I am - Hurting myself like this!

These two lines tell me that you have knowledge and understanding of your own situation don't like it but feel helpless at the same time.

Torn emotions come across most strongly in this little four liner.

Well Done.

Jen-JG

[PhoeniX]

im not too sure what you were talking about how your wings are strong.... i was a bit lost there. but i still enjoyed this.

[Angel Bird]

Few words but wonderful essence, and profound meaning. Very thought provoking and impressive perhaps due exactly to its very shortness. Well done!