And then, I died for the last time.

dreams.hopes.courage.life.

Wings.
They tore them apart
From me,
And buried them deep.
My wings.
I was missing
A piece of mine
I was lost.
And then, I died for the last time.
But the call,
My dreams
Hopes.
I raised a hand
To hold the sky.
Dreams
I tried to fly
Again-
And fell
I lost wings.
Fell
Broke my chin,
And then, I died for the last time.
Again.
But hope
Pulled me back
Moved me
Picked me
Threw me
High
Up
To the sky.
But wings
I lost wings.
But hope
I would not.

~I WILL FLY~

Though I fell
And then, I died for the last time.
Once again. . .

Reviews

[Collette]

There is something about the simplicity of this poem that I really dig. I especially like the ending...definitely throws the reader through a loop.
As far as favorite lines go, I liked this little part:
But hope
Pulled me back
Moved me
Picked me
Threw me
High
Up
To the sky.

I could really visualize this happening! Thanks for sharing a good write.

[xlynne]

i really liked this poem! it was simple and easy to relate to. i think everybody has had this happen to them in some form or another, someone is putting you down, you've lost your "wings" some how and you try to be yourself or get back to normal but something is always happening to where you fall back down. very depressing that can be. i liked the scenes you painted with your words here. very thought provoking and all.

[Zane Mathias]

WOW dude GReat write!! this connects to me on so many levels! sad yes and every body is constantly take your wings in life and watching you fall. but some times falling is the best part.. Keep up the Great job B.P.

[Emily B]

Again, strong words. The placement and spacing seem to add such emphasis to the message.

[Robert Luna]

This was such a heavy thought provoking piece. I love the imagery of it and the scenes it paints in my mind's eye wit a clarity of vivid capturing of life in a way. I see the life of some one and their trials. This was beautifully written and a wonderful read.


Well Done!!!!!

[Emily B]

Your words seem brand new to me. But I am so excited to explore further. Falling and flying. Raching and dying. Those final lines say much of hope.

[Lena Vanelslander]

A beautifull metaphor for life - up and down like a rollercoaster and what I really appreciate in this poem is the ending as you can read it as ... Once again (all over). Very cyclic - very repetitive - real emotions (disappointed hope). Metaphoricaly a very beautifull image of life and feelings in general.

Butterflies do you know? That's their way of naturaly dying (besides being eaten by a hawk) ... their wings get *eroded* and they can't fly anymore: neither to search for food, neither to avoid being eaten up ...

[Danielle Asher]

this is beautiful. I can relate to this sentiment so much. thanks for entering my contest.

peace,
D

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Definitely agree with the previous reviewer...I'm not sure I can add much more - this is a melancholic tale but the hope shines forth beautifully and serenely. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[PhoeniX]

tragic tale of trial and error. try try again. its a cycle of broken bones and broken hearts. every trial is a stone built with strength. well done.

[KayOss]

Such simple honesty... I loved this piece. I especially loved the line "And then, I died for the last time." This line just stuck out to me. I don't like repetition for repetition's sake, but here, you used repetition well. When used well, it's a wonderful thing; here, it's perfect. I loved reading this; I had the effect that I was drifting. Up and down. Up and down. It was kinda like being a feather caught in a draft. Very well done.