the cry of a chalkboard

A tribute to the victims of Connecticut school shooting.

Again, I heard that ‘coughing’ of the gun, right behind me. I felt it, like someone shot me in the back. A coward. A sick man. A disease�"plague. And his gun, coughing hard. I heard the shot loud and clear.

For that moment, I heard no cries, nothing. The time went silent. As I was standing still; stoned; dead. My throat went dry, like a drought, cracked my voice. I wished to scream but I was left with nothing but a deep disgusting silence. Like a drop of thick blood I was hanging between the dream and the reality. Disturbed, confused, silent.

Another gunshot! Blunt, but was sharp enough to tear that silence into threads of cries. Large cries. It was horrible. 

And, then, he shot himself.

Yesterday, one failure of a man came and murdered my kids, and I could do nothing. I saw his face. I saw him as he walked into this classroom with a gun in his hand, as if looking for someone. He looked behind the door; looked at me when quickly walking out of the room. I saw him. A shallow man. Empty. Low. Pathetic.
Then I heard the first shot followed by many, many more cries.

Today I’m still standing, stoned, struggling to believe. Today, I have questions. I’ve always had questions. But this time there’s no one to answer them�"those teachers are gone. And no one to answer them to.

 ~

12.14.12

Thoughts and prayers.

Author's Note

I'm not very active here for last few years but i guess i should be. Anyways, this piece i wrote this morning and I thought I should post it here. I was not sure if that's anger, disgust, pity, sadness or a frustration, but a mixed emotion of all. Sometimes it's very difficult to understand the actions of a civilized man, esp. when he acts like an animal.
My heart goes out to the families in Connecticut. Peace.