Heartbreak

its hard

Im torn in my soul

Between my mind and my heart

I dont know what to do next,

Nowhere to start

I want to move on

To live and to forget

But the feelings of loss and pain

Have not left me yet

I want it to be okay

To be happy again

But it feels theres no chance in hell

That thats something ill regain

Everything goes wrong

Everything makes me angry

Anything i try and do

The world tries to stop me

I tell myself i can live for my love

I tell myself i can trust in myself

But i lost a piece of me,

Through someone else

Theres a hole in my heart

And a wall in my brain

But theres nothing to fill

And nothing to gain

Where do i go

What do i do

I guess in the end

I just wish i still had you

You were my bestfriend

The love of my life

Now it all seems lost

Everything we did just a strife

I want to believe that you will come back

Back to me and my heart

And help heal the crack

But for every day i feel alive

There are two i feel dead

I fear the hope is running out

Its the fear that i dread

I fear that i will close off

From everything

From you

I fear you will leave me behind

In your search for identity

I just want to be there

So call when you if me

Maybe i just have to stop running away

Clinging to things

That inevitably change

But i dont want to

I dont want to move on

I dont want to stop loving

Just to go on

If you looked at me with those eyes

That you used to in the past

I would have happiness

That forever would last

Theres a light thats gone out

And i have no idea what to do

And its not me

It was in you too

I force myself to be happy

But that happiness isnt real

I still want to cry at night,

Its during the day i cannot feel

So i drown my thoughts

By however means

Because i dont want to think

Of what the future seems

It seems your gone

Gone forever

I keep refusing to believe it

But the fear is taking over

My heart is broken

But not from you leaving

Its from me

For not stopping myself from believing