Tracks

Emptiness found him

As he road away from her

On the twelve o’clock train.

 

He laughed.

Not because it was funny;

He found it just a bit ironic -

 

How could he feel such vacancy

When his brain was spouting out 

 Words so pained, at plenty?

Author's Note

I'm really exhausted, but I can't sleep. So, naturally, I decide to write. Hahaha, anyways, I'm not sure if I like this or not. Let me know what you think!

Reviews

[zainul]

Poem offers a great escape when we miss sleep.
Short piece with great potential.

[devon]

Thank you for the review! And yes, I do see some potential with this piece. I just need to go back and work on it some to get it up to par. :)

[zainul]

Yea,thanks for the wonderful gesture.
I feel you don't need to hurry.
Take time and make it your passionate piece.
Waiting to see how it is revised.
Thanks for stopping by.

[devon]

I will let you know when I've made some revisions. :)

[zainul]

I will be very pleased to enjoy the fruit of your efforts :)

[devon]

And I will be very pleased for you to enjoy it!

[zainul]

I always feel very blessed as you appear with your angelic smile.
But,I wonder why you suffer so much for the lack of sleep.
I can however, find little comfort that some lovely poems are created at the time of sleeplessness.But,this situation is not always desirable.
Sleep is necessary for our life.

[devon]

I think it's just because I'm always thinking, especially at night, and so my brain decides to choose pondering over rest.

[zainul]

That's right.
You could other options if you have any.

[devon]

:)

[zainul]

:)