Empty Eyes

I finally figured it out. I mean, it finally hit me. The question that I've been asking myself for years has finally been answered. I didn't need someone else to tell me, I figured it out on my own. All by my self. I've finally answered one of the most personal questions I could ever think of, and I finally understand the answer. 

What is wrong with me? 

It took me years to figure this out. I've spent countless hours screaming and cursing at myself, just trying to answer that simple little question. Honestly, I feel stupid because of how long it took me to figure it out. It's all so clear now.

It's not my hair or my face. It's not my body or my voice. It's not my nose or my feet.

It's my eyes. They are two brown circles of emptiness and loneliness and hate and depression. They effect the way I see things. My brain could be seeing a beautiful rose but my eyes are telling me it's a dying weed in the ground. Over the years, they have transformed the way I think and feel. If I was without those two eyes, I would be happy. I would be carefree. I would be who I'm supposed to be.

My eyes are trying to kill me by showing me all of the negatives in life and never looking at the positives. They repel anything joyous and turn to the evils. The only way I can ever imagine being happy is when my eyes are closed so they can't twist and mangle the happiness in life. 

It took me so long to figure this out because my eyes were stopping me from seeing clearly. They house my demons and reward them with tears when they do bad. The world would be so much more colorful if I could see out of someone else's eyes.