Chapter 16

 

            I was as lost as I felt. I should have just gone back the way I’d come, but I didn’t realize where that was either. Every tree started to look the same. After what seemed like an eternity, I ran into the side of the house, and thankfully, made my way around to the back porch where Liz sat in a stiff conversation with Lacy. She grinned and stood to kiss my cheek, looking grateful for the distraction. 

            “Hey, Jay. Where you been?” Liz’s eyes flew to Lacy too, who barely glanced at me, and gave me a short wave. I shrugged to answer Liz’s question.

            “Got lost on a walk.” I said. Liz nodded with a somewhat knowing look. 

            “Well, you missed breakfast.” She said. I shrugged again and walked inside where I was immediately accosted by Jada. 

            “Mommy! Are we about to leave, or can I go paint?” I gave her a quizzical look. 

            “Well, I don’t know. Who are you painting with?” 

            “Aunt Claudia and Ava and Melissa. Can I, please?” She begged. 

            “Sure, my love. Where’s Bailey?” I asked her. She shrugged and ran outside. I walked up the stairs and down the hallway slowly, a little nervous as I approached the closed door. I opened it. Bailey sat in the chair, looking out of the window, dressed in a t-shirt, cargo shorts, and sandals. She barely looked at me when I walked in. 

            “Hey, B, I got a little lost on a walk this morning.” I started to explain, quicker than I wanted to. She didn’t respond, just stood. 

            “I put something out for you to wear. I already loaded the car. I’m ready whenever.” She said, and walked to the door. She went out and closed it behind her. I walked over and opened it. 

            “Bailey.” I called. She didn’t turn around or even acknowledge that she’d heard me. She just walked down the stairs like I hadn’t said a word. I showered quickly and dressed even faster. After a quick sweep through of both rooms, I went downstairs. Claudia and Ava were in the living room with Liz, Lacy, and Desi, who still wore her running clothes. Desi gave me an concerned look, and I turned my attention away from her. 

            “Bails is outside already, Jay.” Claudia said a tad too cheerfully. “Come on, let me walk you out.”

            “We can both walk her out, darling.” Ava inserted smoothly. Claudia patted Ava’s hand. 

            “I need to talk to her very quickly. Give me 60 seconds and then, please join us.” Ava agreed, and Claudia grabbed my elbow, steering me out of the room and toward the front door.

            “What the hell is going on, Jaylen?” She muttered. “Bailey is tripping, and where the hell where you and Desi for breakfast?” My heart dropped.

            “Desi didn’t come back either?” I asked. Claudia’s eyes grew wide.

            “So you were with her?” 

            “No. Yes. But no, nothing like that. I was just talking to her, and we didn’t even talk that long. Claud, I got lost trying to get back, I swear. What did Bailey say, what is she thinking?” Claudia shrugged.

            “What would you be thinking if she and Lacy were missing when you woke up?” She said directly. “Anyway, straighten up, here comes Ava. She wants to say goodbye to you all.” We walked out the door, and Jada was buckled in her seat unhappily, and Bailey sat waiting in the truck. I tossed my dirty clothes and tennis shoes in the back, and climbed in as well. 

            “Well, darlings, it was certainly a pleasure having you all up.” Ava said to us all through the drivers’ window. 

            “Bye Miss Ava! Can we paint again next time?” Jada asked, still unhappy that her painting session was interrupted. Ava smiled graciously.

            “We can paint whenever you’d like to, Jada. Have your mother bring you to my house in Houston anytime, sweetheart.” Looking satisfied with that answer, Jada settled.

            “Bye Jadakiss.” Claudia blew kisses to her, and Jada laughed. “Bye guys. Hey, Jaylen, call me when you guys get home.” I’m sure I’ll be talking to Bailey, I said in the look I gave her. She shrugged. 

            An hour into the drive, Jada was asleep, and Bailey and I still hadn’t said a word to each other. The music was loud, not loud enough to disturb the sleeping child, but just loud enough to make communicating effective problematic. I turned it down, and as soon as I did, Bailey turned it up. 

            “B, we need to talk.” I said to her. She shook her head.

            “Not now, Jaylen.” And she didn’t say another word.

 

            As soon as we got home, I wanted to talk. I got Jada situated in her room, unpacking her things, and I headed down to our room. Bailey wasn’t there. I walked downstairs to find her in the office. 

            “Bailey, we need to talk.” She glanced at me, and then back to the computer.

            “Not now, Jaylen.” She said again. I sighed.

            “If not now, when?” I asked her. She shrugged.

            “Who knows? When I feel like it. I mean, you don’t talk to me when I want you to. When things are wrong, you need time, right? Well, I need time right now. So, just leave me alone, please.” She said. Her words stung. 

            “Bailey.” I persisted.

            “Jaylen, I’m not talking right now.” She picked up her iPod and put the headphones in. Then she turned her back to me. I waited for two minutes, and then, left the room defeatedly. 

 

            “What are you going to do?” Claudia asked. She and Ava had gotten back to the River Oaks house and Claudia was walking around Ava’s study while Ava was working, talking to me on speakerphone. 

            “Darling, it was a bit unpleasant for you to be gone when she awoke. And then for Desiree to be gone as well. It looked a little suspicious.” Ava offered. 

            “Ava, let me talk, okay?” Claudia said and I heard Ava laugh. 

            “Of course, love. I just offered my opinion.” 

            “I know, but this is me and Jaylen talking. I can go in another room.” Claudia responded. Ava laughed again.

            “I have missed this quick wit of yours the most. I want you in here with me.” Ava said. 

            “I’ll stay.” Claudia was smiling. I couldn’t help but smile too.

            “You guys are the cutest.” I said. They both laughed. “Besides, Claud, Ava may have something good to say. Stop being a bully.” 

            “Seriously, Jaylen, what are you going to say? I mean, you know how it looked.” 

            “I know that, Claudia. I don’t know what to do. Nothing happened. We just talked, and then we left.” 

            “Do you still love Desiree, darling?” Ava’s smooth voice interjected. I sighed.

            “Why do you have to ask the tough questions, Ava?” Her laugh was just as prim as her speaking voice.  “I don’t know.”

            “Of course she does.” Claudia said. “I think we all know that and that’s what freaked Bailey out this morning. She loves her but she isn’t in love with her.” I sighed again.

            “That doesn’t sound like the sigh of a woman convinced.” Ava said to me and Claudia. Claudia sucked in a breath.

            “Jay, do I need to take this conversation out of here? What’s going on?” 

            “I wish I knew what to tell you.” I answered honestly. “No need to leave the room. Ava’s probably helping me more than you are.” I ribbed. 

            “Jaylen, I will say this much. No matter what you think is good for you or best for you, the heart will always want what the heart wants. There is no sense in you being unhappy because you want to make the best decision. Bailey is a wonderful woman. I enjoyed her very much this weekend. Desiree is … well, she’s Desiree. She’s never apologized for being just who she is. She’s had a hard life, but she still has a great spirit. And it’s clear that she loves you unreasonably, my darling. But do you love her enough to forgive her?” 

            “There’s no forgiving that, Ava.” Claudia said. I could almost see Ava shaking her head admonishingly at Claudia. 

            “Sweetheart, anything can be forgiven. Anything at all.” Ava said. “I’ve forgiven you quite a bit, Claudia.” Claudia chuckled.

            “And I you.” She countered. 

            “Touché’. That quick wit of yours, always loved it.” I heard them kiss.

            “Ugh. You lovebirds aren’t helping me one bit. Call you later.” I said. They protested.

            “Jaylen, don’t go.” Ava laughed.  

            “It’s fine. Love you guys. Bye.” I hung up. It had been two hours since Bailey had gone in the office. I ventured down the stairs quietly and back to the office. Bailey was there, stretched across the couch, her long legs still managing to hang off the side, sleeping. I walked over to her, and knelt down to touch her slightly. Her eyes opened slowly, and she looked at me. The first thing I saw was anger, then hurt, then sadness. I hugged her. 

            “B, can I talk to you now?” I asked gently. “If not, I understand.” She didn’t say anything so I stood up. She grabbed my hand. 

            “Where were you, Jaylen? With Desi?” 

            “I went for a walk. I did run into her.” Bailey shifted to look me more squarely in the eyes. 

            “You ran into her.” She repeated. “That’s an awfully big coincidence, that you left and she left before anyone else woke up and you guys were gone together for so long.” Her voice was sarcastic. I had expected as much. 

            “I know it seems weird, but I promise you, that’s how it happened.” She nodded.

            “Yeah. You promise. What else can you promise me, Jaylen? You promise me that it’s just me and you. But then, we get up to this house for the weekend, and s**t is just weird. Things are crazy. But you promised, right?” Bailey said. “Everything is wrong, Jay, nothing is right. Every time you see her, things get weird. Things get crazy. I don’t know how we can get married and things are like this just because you see Desiree.” Bailey swung her legs over the couch and sat up and gave me a hard look. “Jaylen, do you really think we should be getting married when you’re still in love with Desiree?” I blinked back tears.

            “I’m in love with you. I’m marrying you.” I told her. I grabbed her hands. “Bailey, please don’t say these things just because I went for a walk this morning.” 

            “Did she touch you, Jaylen? When you guys happened to run into each other, did she touch you?” Bailey asked. She took her hands from mine. I shook my head, dumbfounded.

            “Bailey. No. Why did you ask me that, why did you think that?” I questioned, turning to face her as she started to pace. 

            “I can’t stand it, the thought of her touching you. You liking her touch. I can’t--” She shook her head. “It makes me sick.” 

            “Bailey, do you honestly think I would cheat on you? With Desi?” 

            “Jaylen, I think I know you. I think I know the things I need to know, and she comes around you, and everything changes. It’s crazy. I mean, you cheated on her with me. Who knows what you’d do?” Bailey’s words were harsh. 

            “Okay, I can accept that.” I said slowly. “I did cheat on her with you. But it was different.” 

            “How so? Because you were just using me to get at her?” 

            “Bailey, if you really think that way, why are you marrying me?” I asked her. She stopped pacing.

            “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that all day, since I woke up and found you gone. Why am I marrying a woman that’s clearly not in love with me but in love with someone else?” Those acidic words floated in the air and rained upon both of us. I was shocked. I blinked and shook my head. This couldn’t be happening. 

            “All of this because I got lost in the woods? Now, I don’t love you and you shouldn’t be marrying me?” I slowly said back to her. Bailey stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the desk. She was focused on the wall above me, and didn’t look at me although I looked at her. 

            “I think you’ve been lost, Jay, and not just in the woods this morning. And I think it’s my bad for wanting to see more than what was actually there.” I burst into tears immediately.

            “What did you want to see that wasn’t there, Bailey? Seriously. You’re breaking up with me? You’re breaking up with me, calling off the wedding?” My voice rose and I managed to squeak out the last part unbelievingly. “Bailey.” I croaked out her name and crawled toward her. “Bailey, noooooo, stop this, please, Bailey, no.” I wrapped my arms around her legs, and began to cry. “I love you, please, Bailey, I’m so sorry that I ever gave you a reason to doubt me. I really am.” She shifted her legs, to try to move them away from me, but I held on. She broke away anyway, and reached down and lifted me up to face her. 

            “We’re too sad. We cry a lot.” She said through her own tears. “We wonder about each other. We’re unsure. Does that sound like two people who are about to get married and commit themselves to the other for the rest of their lives?” I began to sob, heaving sobs that wracked my entire person. I shook, and she cried as well, and through her own tears, she tried to comfort me. She wrapped her arms around me, finally. Her arms, those arms; the twin pillars of my strength. “I want you to be happy, Jaylen. I want us happy. I want my family. I want you here one hundred percent, and I just don’t think you are. And I can’t marry you if you’re not.” The sobbing continued, grew louder, and I clung to her shirt. 

            “Bailey.” She continued to cry too, but her arms fell slack around me, and then, her hands slowly pulled me off her. She looked at me. 

            “I have always hated to see you cry.” She said. “Always.” She wiped her face off with one fell swoop. “I love you, Jaylen. I really do.” She moved away from me, backing away, with her eyes still focused on my face. Then, when she reached the door, she turned, and exhaled. Then, she walked out of it. I slid down to the floor, where I’d just sat, clinging to her legs, unable to cry anymore. What the hell just happened?

Reviews

[D1218]

*Sniffles*
You're a great writer - I've read from Chapter 1 to here in one sitting - it was so good D:
Keep writing :)

[Shellie]

Really very good, as I said before I cant 'put' it down.! I was wondering why you had Desiree and Jaylen meeting so much and now I know why...to create the tension thats needed that hasnt really been there but now Bailey and Jaylens relationship is showing signs of humanity, i knew it wasnt all rosy but i didnt know the story at all! Roll on next chapter, your doin great!

[Ruby Moon]

good question... "what the hell just happened?"
the story you have so far... it feels so real on so many levels
some because something similar had happened to me, some because i can imagine it happening to me
i cant stop reading the story that you have span out...
you really are a great author
^-^
will be waiting for your next chapter as usual~

[Charles D. Moorer]

Perfectly done. This scene was so real. The images so precise. I could see Jaylen grabbing Bailey by her legs and holding on, very dramatic and very well written. And when Bailey walked out the door prefect. There are some word choices, wracked my entire person, why not wracked my body, it's trite but the other expression sounds prententious. Just a suggestion. I have to tell you that you are really good and getting better. I eagerly await the next chapter. Until then, keep writing and have a great weekend.