Chapter 12

 

Bailey was showering and I was fully dressed, pacing. There was a knock on the adjoining door and I opened it.

"Mama, can I go down?" Jada asked sweetly.

"Is Auntie here?" I looked into her room.

"No." Jada said impatiently. She walked back into her room and I followed her. There sat Desiree. "Ray is here." I grabbed Jada's hand instinctively.

"Desi, could you please excuse us? We will see you at dinner." Desi stood and then stooped down and kissed Jada.

"Guess you'll come down with your mom, munchkin." Jada pouted. Desi looked to me. "Jay. I wasn't trying to start anything."

"See you at dinner." I gritted my teeth and tried to continue the forced pleasantness of before. She sighed and walked out the door, her heels clicking down the hallway. Jada looked at me quizzically.

"Mommy, are you mad at Ray?" I sighed, completely at a loss for words.

"No, angel, I’m not mad at Desiree. We'll go down together." I said to her.  

 

After a slight pep talk, Bailey, Jada and I went downstairs.  Liz, Cass and Desi sat, chatting and drinking. 

“Hey.” Liz was the first to speak. She hugged Bailey and me, and then scooped Jada up. “Hey, Jadakiss, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.” She said. Jada laughed a little, not remembering Liz at all, and started to play in her hair. 

“You have pretty hair.” She told Liz, who smiled.

“Yes, but Miss Ava will be upset if my hair is messy. Maybe you can brush it for me later.” Jada considered it for a moment, and then nodded. Liz sat her down and she flew to Desi. 

“Ray!” She yelled and hopped up on Desi’s lap. I sighed. 

“Hey, Bailey.” A voice said behind us. I turned to see the girl from the party. Lacy. Bailey took my hand and gripped it rather tightly. “And you must be Jaylen.” She said lightly. “I’m Lacy.” I took her extended hand. Lacy was very pretty, just as I remembered. She walked into the room and sat next to Desi. I don’t know why, but I felt a pang in my heart. I had to make sure it didn’t show, because I knew she was looking at me. Bailey squeezed my hand again. 

“Hi, Bailey. I’m Cassidy. Just call me Cass. I don’t think we’ve ever met.” Cass said to shake up some of the tension. I walked over to the group and we sat. 

“Sorry, Cass. Bailey, this is Liz’s girlfriend Cass. Cass, my fiancée Bailey Price.” The introduction seemed to linger in the room. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see that Lacy reacted to that. Maybe she hadn’t known that Bailey and I were engaged. I wonder what Bailey told her. I wouldn’t allow my thoughts to go there. The point was that she knew now. Jada slid onto Bailey’s lap and smiled at Cass. 

“Ladies, glad to see you all.” Ava said. She and Claudia came into the room together. “Margaret is joining us later tonight.” I tried to control how my head flew around to meet Claudia’s eyes, but I couldn’t. She wouldn’t look my way anyway, just looked straight ahead with a smile on her face. “We can go ahead and be seated for dinner.” 

The meal was full of stilted conversation and forced agreeableness. I knew I was drinking too much, but I didn’t care. Bailey was jovial but nervously so; she didn’t know what to say or who to say it to. Desi was quiet, and Lacy was observant, looking at everyone as they spoke. Finally, the conversation fell into a comfortable lull when Bailey and Liz began discussing their high school basketball days. We moved the conversation from the dining room to the great room, where we all continued to drink, and just as I said I’d be taking Jada up to bed, the doorbell rang. Ava sighed but then smiled. 

“That’s Margaret. Elizabeth, would you care to greet your aunt for me?” Liz smirked a little. 

“Of course, Ava.” She answered. I exited with my sleeping child. 

 

When I had gotten Jada in her pajamas and kissed her goodnight, I walked back to the stairs, but after a quick glance down the hall, noticed that everyone was gone. I heard Ava’s voice and Margaret’s, and neither of them sounded happy. 

“Jaylen!” Claudia whispered at me, and grabbed me back, pulling me into a vacant bedroom. Her eyes gleamed. “So, yeah, she was pissed off that I was here when Liz was here. She started in about her niece seeing Ava with another woman, and Ava was like ‘Claudia is not another woman. She is Claudia. She can be wherever I am whenever I want, Margaret, and you know it.’ Whew. I hate to be a homewrecker, but…” Claudia trailed off. 

“But what?” I asked. 

“I want her back. I think she wants me back. I really do want to be with her. For real.” I wondered if Claudia had too much to drink.  My best friend confessing such feelings? It was unheard of. I hugged her.

“I hate that it has to happen like this, but I’m happy for you. I really am.” Claudia hugged me back tightly. 

“I’m happy too. Even though I tried to fight this, I know that she’s the one. I love her. I want to be with her. She never let me go, and I never let her go. There’s something to be said about that. It means something. And I don’t mind spending my life figuring out what.” She was earnest, sincere. My whole heart warmed. “Hey, let’s go change and hang out. Comfortable stuff. I’m sick of this dress.” She said and wiped away the two tears that slipped out of her eyes. “You looked really pretty tonight, Jay.” 

“You looked beautiful. Just perfect.” Claudia sniffled.

“When did I get to be such a sap? Let’s change and go downstairs. We can use the back stairs and watch a movie in the media room?”
            “What media room?” I asked. Claudia giggled.

“The one in the basement, silly. I’ll meet you down there in ten minutes.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I’m so glad you’re here.” 

 

            I went to change, and the room was completely dark. Where was Bailey?  My mind flew to the worst case scenario, but I wouldn’t dignify it. 

            “Hey babe.” She said in the darkness, and it scared the s**t out of me. I turned on the lamp, and Bailey was lying across the bed. “Where have you been?” So, her mind had been doing the same thing. I sat down next to her. 

            “Talking to Claud. She and Ava are getting back together.” I explained. “I think Ava’s breaking up with Margaret right now.” Bailey gave me a lopsided grin. 

            “That’s good.” She said distractedly. 

            “Why are you sitting here in the dark?” I asked her. She shrugged.

            “Thinking I guess. Drank too much.” She yawned. “It’s been a long day.” I couldn’t agree more, I thought. I nodded.

            “Claud and I are going to watch movies in the basement, want to come?” I asked, going through my suitcase for a change of clothes. 

            “Nah, I’m good. I just have a lot on my mind. I think I’ll stay up here.” Stay up here for what? Where Lacy is? I glared at myself inwardly. She did one bad thing, Jaylen. It’s not enough to doubt her every action. I finally nodded as I slipped on striped pajama pants and a tank top. Bailey flipped on the TV. “See you later, babe.” I put on flip-flops and left the room. 

            I was late getting downstairs, and Claudia was awaiting me. 

            “You drinking?” She asked, offering me a glass of champagne. I shrugged and took it. 

            “I think I’ve been drinking too much. But hey, one more glass won’t hurt.” Claudia laughed at my admission. 

            “We’re finishing this bottle, so it’ll be a little more than one more glass.” She warned. I shrugged. 

            “Well, bring it on. We’re celebrating. Tonight is a great night.” 

            Three glasses later, and Claudia was leaving. Ava had come down to get her. I was abandoning the cold, huge media room, and decided to go outside. The night was beautiful and peaceful out here. Every star in the sky was bright, and shining, and I sat on the expansive patio swing, and gazed out. 

            “Hey, Jaylen.” It was Cass, who was sitting on the porch stairs under a cloud of smoke. “I hope this doesn’t bother you.” 

            “Since when do you smoke?” I questioned her, taking the stairs slowly to sit with her. Then I coughed. “Oooh. Does Liz know you’re smoking weed?” Cass grinned.

            “Yeah, she knows. Want some?” She asked. “You may as well, you’re just going to get a contact high.” 

            “A contact high outside? Come on now.” 

            “There’s no wind. So, yeah.” I took the weed from Cass and inhaled generously. It had been years since I smoked anyway, so I immediately started coughing. She laughed.

            “This isn’t just regular weed, sweetie. Take it slow.” 

 

            Twenty minutes later, Cass and I had started smoking another joint and had ventured into the kitchen noisily to obtain a six pack of beers. 

            “I think I’m going to be an alcoholic before this weekend is over.” I moaned. Cass laughed.

            “I’d be drinking too if my ex was here with a girl that my fiancée had hit on at a party recently. It’s weird. That’s why I wanted you to smoke with me. Clear your head of all the drama.” She said. “How is it, you know, the whole wedding thing.” Cass’s voice seemed wistful. 

            “It’s cool. Busy. Lots to do all the time, but cool.” I told her. 

            “When are you getting married, anyway? It’s soon, right?” 

            “Three weeks.” I told her. “I’m nervous as hell.”   Cass shook her head and passed the joint to me. 

            “Don’t be nervous. You guys seem great together. Not like you and Desi, but still great.” I wanted to ask her what she meant, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t like the answer. 

            “Can’t help it. It’s just a lot. A huge step.” I told her. 

            “Yeah I know.” I’d passed the joint back and Cass inhaled heartily. “I always wanted it, you know, the wedding, the marriage.” She shook her head. “But Liz always says it doesn’t matter.” 

            “Why?” I asked through my drug-induced haze. “I mean, it doesn’t really matter, the whole wedding and stuff. You and Liz have been together forever.” 

            “Yep, I know.” Cass passed it back to me, and I inhaled hugely. “So, why not the wedding and the marriage? Why not make it official? I mean, it’s clear that I’m not going anywhere, she’s not going anywhere.” 

            “Cass, what more do you need?” I asked her, passing it back. She shot me a look. 

            “I need the words. I want the ceremony. I want the final commitment. You have to know what I mean, Jaylen, you’re getting married!” She argued. 

            “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to upset you.” I relented. She sighed and nodded, after sucking in deeply, passed it back. 

            “Yeah, I know.  You’re never trying to upset me, or anyone. Except Liz. You know, when you just disappeared, Liz was so upset, Jaylen. It made me think something more than a friendship was there.” I clumsily shoved the joint back at her, and stood shakily. 

            “I am going in, Cass.” I said, and started up the stairs slowly. Everything was spinning, and I didn’t know if it was from the weed, the drinks or the loaded statement. 

            “Yeah, okay.” She said as I walked up the stairs slowly. “I think that she won’t marry me because of you.” Cass called behind me. “And that’s why you’re going inside, because I’m right.” 

            “Cassidy.” Liz’s voice came from the dark and was formidable. “Come inside. Right now.” I looked up and saw Liz at the top of the stairs. I stopped walking, and looked back down at Cass. She put the joint out and grabbed the last remaining beer. 

            “Guess I said too much, now I’m in trouble.” Her voice wanted to sound teasing, but didn’t. I stood still, letting Cass pass me up to get to Liz. I felt Liz looking at me, but I wouldn’t meet her eyes. They went inside, and after moments of shaking alone in the humidity, I walked inside and to my room.