If I were She/She were Me

 

If I were she,

she were me

 

I’d look upon her with

Sweet recognition,

Understanding.

I know her well.

How I love her so.

 

She was the very essence of

Confidence

Bordering on

Cockiness.

Oh, I wish I could share with the world:

it was all a front.

 

Underneath it all,

She was

Full of self-doubt.

She didn’t even believe in her own

Beauty.

So very beautiful, inside and out

Beauty so real you could reach out

And touch it.

And didn’t believe in her own

Talent.

So very talented, you could see it

Coming off her,

Surrounding her;

It was her aura. 

Her halo.

Her cross to bear.

I know her

Well.

How I love her so.

 

Underneath it all,

She was precociously complex

Complex simplicity

Organized chaos.

My very own

Walking contradiction. 

Nothing really mattered at all.

So she said.

But it all mattered.

Her tender heart took it all in.

Her sensitivity

That she hid so well

Made her mourn for

Things gone by.

Time gone by.

Opportunities gone by.

People gone by.

She wanted to act like

It didn’t matter, but

I know her well.

How I love her so.

 

She drove me f*****g crazy.

She never knew what she wanted.

Did she want me?

Or was I just her friend?

All apart of being that

Walking contradiction,

I suppose.

 

Underneath it all,

She was the best person I knew.

My very best friend.

She loved me unreasonably,

As I did her. 

So, even though she drove me

F*****g crazy,

Never knew what she wanted,

Didn’t believe in her beauty,

Her talent,

And nothing really mattered,

I would be there for her

By her side.

I would make sure that she

Believed.

I would make sure it

Mattered

I would help her figure out what she

Wanted

(even if it was never me)

I would do my job in her life.

Play my role.

 

I know her better than anyone.

She knew me too.

How I love her so.

Reviews

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Don't listen to this lady beneath me! It was perfect! I didn't even notice any vulgarity(that may be saying something to my natural love of vulgar words, but anyway), but it is soooooo beautiful D! I love your commitment to someone that may not deserve it(judging from the outside looking in), but you really understand her, which gives you solace to your decision to ride out!

"Underneath it all,
She was precociously complex
Complex simplicity
Organized chaos."

These lines set up perfectly as to how you describe her as a "walking contradiction"(aren't we all). Great piece my love, and I hope to grow up to be a poet just like you one day!!!!

[sheerpoetry]

you paint a picture of a beautiful mysterious funloving wonderful WOMAN a woman like we all can be sometimess. shes lucky to have your love because sometimes people cant deal with the complexites of a WOMAN but you make it sound like a beautiful thing

[Aileen]

verry nice. i like it. i'm sure your friend would too. we all have someone in our life thats like it. i know i have one just like that for me. nice job.
your friend
Aileen

[R.Z.M.]

I love this poem, it's so moving and hits the core. Actually I love the vulgarity, it makes the feelings harsher and more realistic. These words really hit home for me... I love how you convey the heart so well. Bravo!

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

I wasn't sure if you were talking about someone you knew, or yourself, in a metaphorical way. either way, it was a nice smooth poem. i don't think the swearing distracted me, bec it was done in a poetic way, that meshed well with the piece. it gave it a personable feel. i just don't like swearing done in a dirty and unapologetic way. i can't wait to read more of your works.

[*mercy]

nice poem all together..but yes i agree with amanda..its fine to have some vulgarity in your poems..it gives a more raw feel but to achieve a fresh gentle feel you have to cut down on the vulgarity. otherwise great poem!

[The Reticent Receptioni..]

oh my goodness.
this poem.
is.
gah -- it hits home...in so many ways.
absolutely beautiful.

my only "critique" isn't really a critique, just an opinion; the vulgar language detracts from the poem, ever-so-slightly.