Ink poisoning

He was a feeling good flower, a raspberry tea shower

With the fragrance of wet grass, and an old beat up car

He was velvet blue, an ink mess on the floor

So I cleaned him, I scrubbed the floor until the ink faded

I let him ink poison me, let him seep into my thick veins

Because I loved him, because I wanted him to touch my heart

To feel it beating like a hummingbird’s wings inside

I wanted him to be stung by my pain, feel the cuts that remain

Take black and white pictures and paste them in my brain

I wanted him to be a part of me, to see what I see

To smell the yellow tulips and the burnt coffee

To hear the broken voices, the shattered hearts

But the doctors took their knifes and antibiotics

They wiped him clean from my skin, purified my soul from his fingerprints

He was no longer mine; he had slipped into the sea

Like a sandcastle on the beach, the storm of sand in the desert

So I’ll watch him from a distance, visit him in his dreams

I’ll become the paint in his palette, the sparrow on his oak tree

I’ll drop teardrops in his coffee mug, and paste my pain in his eyes

So that when he looks into the mirror he will see my soul again.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please review! remember its spoken word....not completely poetry. Its meant to be performed.

Reviews

[Antonio Valentino]

Because I loved him, because I wanted him to touch my heart
To feel it beating like a hummingbird’s wings inside
I wanted him to be stung by my pain, feel the cuts that remain
Take black and white pictures and paste them in my brain
I wanted him to be a part of me, to see what I see
To smell the yellow tulips and the burnt coffee
To hear the broken voices, the shattered hearts

You are years beyond your age. This is natural brilliances that you can only be born with.

What a nice gift you have.

Superb.
:)

[Ry]

This is a great poem, trully. Even the general aura the words give off establishes that. Beautiful =) -Eli

[JanuaryDreamer♥]

This is awsome, you are a good poet

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

loved it

[TheFemininePad]

This was certainly different. I think you did a good job here. Some of the wording in the poem feels weird. Like the wording, "He was a feeling good flower". It just sounds weird, and a little off. The rest of the poem is really good, and I liked the ending that you wrote. There just seems like a few places where you can change the words to make the poem flow more easily.

[OT]

oh this is great - we're kept attentive the whole way through - the rhyme is alternating but you kind of create your own scheme and we just bob along to it willingly - it all flows so well that we can just float through the words ha - brilliant descriptions throughout!! nice!

[Damon Favreau]

Wonderful. Love that's been taken away; I'm all too familiar :P

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

A heartfelt and visually stunning piece that reads aloud beautifully. Despite the angry twist which makes it cleverly written and interesting.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Spoken word or not this is fabulous. I enjoyed every drop of ink you displayed.......

[Calypso]

Truly well written poem.