Prologue

The Accident

Prologue

Her death was coming right at her.

She gripped the wheel with white knuckles, staring into the blinding white lights only yards ahead and coming closer. They were speeding out of control, and yet time seemed to stop in its tracks. She had just a fraction of a second to glance at the man in the passenger seat, the woman behind him.

Her entire life.

I'm sorry, she thought tearfully. I can't...

The lights came closer, swerving left and right. Then they straightened, on her side of the dark road.

In less than a second....Impact.

Shattered glass.

Her world went black.

Reviews

[Belator Books]

First a compliment: gripping and succinct. These are difficult hooks to attain and you have done so. Might I suggest a more active voice, along with present tense personification... i.e. instead of 'her death' perhaps just Death itself;

An example:

Death approached rapidly; (try not to say ____ was ____) its cold sprint matched the speed of the skidding car on the dark road. The young woman (or mention her first name here) gripped the steering wheel (name the wheel as 'steering' as there are several wheels in a car) with whited knuckles.Time itself seemed to have stopped but the car hurtled ahead, towards blinding, white lights. Only a split second remained to glance desperately at the man in the passenger seat, and at the woman behind him. (Insert girl's name) entire life sat with her in the car, in these last horrific moments.
"I'm sorry..." she thought; no time remained to voice the words.
The impact threw her forward; shattered glass flew through the car like honed crystal bullets. Screams filled (the girl's name) ears as darkness claimed her.

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The voice of the above example is quite active, and the flow matches the original sentence tone. You grasped the feel of the scene well, but the last few sentences are fragmented and rather distract from the tone instead of adding to it; also avoid the juvenile manner of speaking, such as 'her world went black'. Using 'went' to describe a state of being, or an action other than one walking a distance is considered taboo. Also the use of three periods and then the word impact, while visually dramatic, is a bit cheesy. As in above the example, you get more mileage from actually describing what's going on verses alluding vaguely to it, and merely hoping the reader has been in a crash themselves.

I hope sincerely that this helps and I look forward to reading the rest, for you have grasped the emotion well, which is as I stated earlier is hard for a young writer to be able to translate into prose.