Nothing

Lesson after lesson has taught me nothing.

I know nothing.

I try learning and arrive at nothing.

The more you feed me truths, the less I believe

The more I know nothing.

From experience, I've learned nothing.

I'm still making the same mistakes.

In your eyes, I see nothing.

You all know that trick, the one that makes

You all look the same.

Deep inside you, there is nothing.

You don't resonate. You are not permanent,

You change,

You waver.

Instability.

Inconsistency.

Your inconsistency makes me anxious.

It turns me into you, inconsistent.

Not trustworthy

Helpless and lost

And heartbroken and sad

But happy to be mad.

Happy to be in a desperate nightmare

Hoping to get out but fighting to stay in.

So lost, i'm a whole new being

And whoever I was is deeply rooted beneath the earth

Deeply unmoved, deeply becoming nothing.

Numb.

To the point where I don't know what it means anymore

And I don't care

I don't care what any of it means

Maybe that's what it means.

Numb.

And i'm wondering if time will drag me back.

If my eyes will open wide and the filthy dirt 

Will settle around them and when I blink, it will sting,

Sting so much that  it burns. 

And maybe i'll go blind.

And maybe i'll just lay there,

Blind,

Dirty,

Suffocated

Maybe knowing

Something.