Reassurance

This is a poem strictly about my personal issues regarding my depression, its a little personal, but as always please be honest with your review, thank you!

The problem isn't,

That I'm "too depressed". 

The problem is that, 

You can't control the feelings that put you in distress. 

If there's an issue, its oh we fix it right away. 

But if it can't be fixed, 

You give up and attempt to go astray.

I don't understand.

I thought you were supposed to support me,

I don't get it,

How can love be so disappointing?!

I gave you everything and you took it with glee.

I've loved you more than anyone, 

But still you don't truly see me. 

See the problem isn't, 

That I fall too quickly into my own darkness.

See I've accepted that!

I enjoy knowing I don't need to be flawless. 

This is apart of me, 

It's completely out of my control.

But you expect me to just get over it, 

Pretend that i don't have a broken soul. 

Yes it's easy to fake a smile, 

Trust me I've done that. 

But it's not easy to pretend to be happy around someone who's supposed to support me when it gets bad! 

I'm angry and hurt, at your reaction. 

But then again I understand,

How can you love someone who can't even function.

I know you'll never understand,

And that's okay.

But next time when I'm like this,

I'll never expect you to stay...

Do you know what it's like, 

To fear your own depression. 

Of course you don't, 

You don't have to answer that question.

But like I said, 

it's okay I promise I'm used to this feeling. 

What else am I to do,

When i don't see a clearing?

I'll just settle down here, 

In the abyss of my own mind.

I'll just stay right here and pretend and say "i'm fine".

I know that you love me, 

Trust me I do. 

But how can you just turn your back when I'm struggling with a noose?

If there's a problem I'll fix it, 

I'll try my very best.

But you said I have to DO better,

Trying isn't even a quest.

I know that you love me I can see it in your eyes,

But I just can't see why you think it's okay to leave me be when I cry. 

I need your support, 

You need to tell me I'll be okay!

Because without that reassurance my darkness is here to stay.

Reviews

[aj milton]

Moving. Your writing tells a sad but common story which some will identify with, others won't.

Seeing and being with someone who has depression is one thing, but even then it is hard to really understand. Especially as it comes in so many shapes and sizes. Experiencing it first hand is completely different.

And sadly the support and understanding of those close are so helpful towards recovery.

[Serendipity Planet]

One of the most touching poems I read
You put your finger right on how depression feels , how it mixed with outside world and how it influence your life , your love

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A controlled deliverance of feeling and inner wars that wage against ones outwards dance, well done, good read.