Ladies Man

Well, today was a good day. When I woke up this morning, it was raining,  but i love the rain, its poetic. so it was no problem. i got dressed, grabbed my umbrella, and set out for the day.

Now i'm walking down the block on my way to Ricky's,and i stop in at the store. I get my things and walk up to the counter. the cashier working this morning is gorgeous! i, mean, heavenly! so, shes ringing up my stuff and says "that'll be $3.95". i can tell she digs me. i slide my food stamp card and grab my bag. it show my balance on her screen. $69.95. now i know shes impressed. She said "here's your receipt, have a nice day". i reply," you too". I wink, grab my bag and walk out the door.

I finally get to Ricky's. i walk in and hes sitting on his couch watching pawn stars. He lights up a spliff, hits it, then passes it to me. "what took you so long?" he asked. "i stopped at the store. the lines were terrible" i reply. "yeah they always are".

"i saw that cashier again today. she digs me"

"you ask her out yet?"

"no, not yet. i"m gonna make her wait a little. maybe i will on my way home."

"well then, before you leave, use that grease i got in the bathroom on your hair. i got just like drakkar in there too."

"Drakkar, huh? she'll be putty in my hands"

After a few episodes i left. I decided to stop at Li's Kitchen on they way back to the store. I had to pay $2.95 for a fortie of steel. outrageous. i remember when they were $2.00. the lady gave me the evilest look when i complained to her. i slammed my change on the counter and walked out.

When i got back to the store, i didn't see her so i just grabbed a soda. by the time i got up tp the register she was back so after i paid a grabbed a candy bar and got in her line.  the girl in front of me has a cart full. i wait and watch the cashier scan all her items. shes talking to the other girl at the counter about roommate issues. 

"I hate when that happens "i say.

"what?" she asks

"what you just said. i hate when that happens"

"oh"

The lady in front of me pays and leaves. i put my snickers on the counter. "One dollar" she tells me. i slide my dollar to her and look her in the eyes and say" you, me , dinner tonight"

"no". she hands me my receipt and i turn to walk home.  i look down at my jacket to see a mustard stain from yesterday. that's gotta be why she said no. so i stopped in here for a drink. 

"dude, i didn't ask to know about your f*****g day. what the f**k do you want to drink?"

"i'll take a lager" 

"2 bucks"

"uh here you go" i hand the bartender the rest of my change.

"this is only $1.39"

"oh sorry, i guess i don't have it"

"get the f**k out of my bar"

The End.