Waxen Wings

This one was writte in honor of and emulating Selene's walking with the gods prose poetic pieces. Excuse the rushed quality, I was stumped for an idea, had to do most of it during lunch to be on time

You were There 

in the beginning 

clouds in your eyes 

and stars falling from your head 

I was Whole and Parts 

and more than the sum of both 

and You were There 

I stood beside You 

with sunset hair 

wearing living rainbow vestments 

while I tried on Your gift, waxen wings 

and to the sky We rose 

with tambourine laughter 

all day and all night 

We truly Were 

Then You brought Them 

both of them insipid on the surface, 

but beneath, boiled failure and grandeur 

in a puerile stew 

and nothing was the same 

You were charmed 

even as they betrayed 

You were enthralled 

even as they warped Your words 

and You forgave 

Here I stand now, 

mere parts, not whole 

twilight hair hanging disheveled 

on melted glacier vestments 

my one possession, 

a pair of waxen wings 

that I stretch and flex 

prepping for the last flight 

At first I dance the wind to a forlorn dirge, 

slow sweeps passing inches from the ground 

but soon memory takes lead 

and I dance the Grand Waltz 

would that Your eyes would stray my way 

if I flew higher, then maybe... 

Looking down I watch them slaughter yet another 

and a tear falls from Your eye to flood the plains 

but You are beguiled 

I reach for a star 

and feel wetness on my back 

surely You weep for me 

but all that remains are empty sockets 

where wings once grew 

and the rush of air 

Would that my tears 

could flood the world for me to drown 

alas, not to be

And so I fall... 

And so I fall.

Author's Note

Okay, I know I'm going to catch hell for this one (pun intended) I am not trying to go after Anyones beliefs here. But there are always two sides to every story.

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

do you know what this reminds me of~ in part it takes me back to Shabola and Asrafel~ it's Dacian mythology with which I grew up with~ it tells an altogether different tale of the fall of Lucifer~ because yes there is always two sides to every story~there is this truth and that truth and somewhere between them is the TRUTH~ this is stunning work on a poetic level~ a deep driving soul shake on the deeper human levels~ I can't tell you just how much this piece of excruciatingly beautiful heartwork penetrates~I guess I'll jave to invent a word for the emotion it elicits . . . .

[Hannah Paige]

fantastic

[Tate Morgan]

I love the separations in the work it gives me singular ideas to comprehend .You and Selene do well together and compliment each others work

[Crowley]

Don't hink anyone here will be offended with someone who is thinking. Great style that I know will be very well taken and you did a fantastic job with the style and the feel....more than suitable impressed...rush job my a*s...lol. Great work.

[Bubo]

Such a brilliant write........hell indeed,and the tale is so well told, and many have been told on this theme, but this is the best I have read, with emotion, and description ~ bravo!

[Alicia Schroeder]

Either way you look at it, its an amazing write :)

[OT]

lol I thought the picture was a strange sonogram haha - the god bodies I'm sure will do the round and condemn you, maybe pray for you if you catch 'em on a good day!! ha - I thought the take on it - the Lucifer aspect was actually really clever - the empty sockets where wings once grew - perhaps you pick at a few shades of humanity here too - shoulder blades - lost wings - fallen - great dip into the biblical mythos - rather enjoyed your take - one I suspect like Shawn many of us see - " Would that my tears
could flood the world for me to drown
alas, not to be
And so I fall...
And so I fall."

[Lilly Negoi]

honestly? i think i prefer your side of this story...

[JelliFyshKissUs]

I really don't know why you would find this offensive, Davie. It speaks on some level to what I have always believed about the Devil. Through my biblical research I've found that he and his fellow demons as well as faithful angels "took their station before God" but as Jesus plainly stated, he "did not stand fast in the truth". He must have had a pure start and fallen from grace, because he "drug a third of the stars (angels) down with him" when cast to the earth. In fact, the first sin (which means "missing the mark" of God's standards and requirements) committed was not earthly, but heavenly--committed by the Devil--who is described as a spirit exquisitely beautiful to behold, until his beauty became his own obsession. If one thinks that he does not hold contempt for insipid mankind in respect to the position he once held and the opportunity God holds out for us, one would be mistaken.

As for your wording and flow. Ahhh... I simmer in it... It is quite beautiful in every definition of the word. I swear, Davie, you are forming into a poetic Adonis with pieces like this. This is why we will not let you rest when you take longer than we care for you to to turn up a new piece. They just get better and better every time.

[KrisK]

Masterful...with character's longing and knowing...I found the flow exceptional...

[Matthew Kult]

And so I fall, from grace. A brilliant work, and very well told. You could feel the frustration. Excellent write and read. The lightbearer would be pleased.

Regards,

Matthew