Arrow's Flight

Another surreal piece about my place of being

Riding the edge of the obsidian arrow,
Surfing the sub-audible 'throng,'
I watch as the Titans of life blur by,
Blissfully unaware and trapped in time,
Their blood, grains of sand trickling down
While wildwood, sun bleached eyes search forever inward,
Finding naught but morrow seed.

Sitting cross legged on the tip of the bolt,
Weaving through Clothos' web at harrowing speed,
I touch nary a thread.
The iridescent colors flickering in and out along the strings
Fascinate me in their intricacy,
If not their immediacy
As I speed past.

Only a faceted cut of a second
Before the razor tip strikes true,
I slip from my faithful steed,
Back turned to the target and heart throbbing.
A single one-dimensional tear slides down my cheek,
A shattered butterfly, it winks at me as it falls until I catch it.
I breathe a broken nebula upon it,
But it turns to dust and falls between my fingers,
Disturbed in it's path to the ground only by the wake of a passing arrow.

Reviews

[Vanesa Markovic]

This took me a couple of reads, and I don't know if it has anything to do with my current state of mind, but I grasped a slightly melancholy feel. For me, this speaks on the sometimes bleak reality of not only our own existence, but our perceptions of the existence of the beings which surround us. Occasionally we are touched by profound beauty, and as quickly as it comes into our life, it is taken away. I really felt that. I could relate, and although I may very well be projecting, I loved the read.
Thanks for the read request :)

[David W Moore III]

Yes there is a bit of melancholy as well as separation from the current events. An outsider from out of time. Nothing affects him and he in turn affects nothing

[thomas the younger]

(The tear, water, becomes dust.
Earth. The same game, played with blood/sand. -Kudos: the nature of a thing, inverted.)

I see this as the Subjective feigning Objectivity. The capitalized "Titans", however, gives us the Greek monstrosities of note...and, as you run the "web of Clotho" while "touching nary a thread"...you are thus both remote and intricated.

Human.

[David W Moore III]

It speaks of maladaptation and mental isolation in a crowd. Obviously many layers of flavors have been woven here. Thanks for taking the time to review. :)

[Angela]

Usually I have a great imagination. But, today, I simply cannot focus on this poem. And it is just not making sense to me. I guess I have to have a more surrealistic view of life if I were truly to grasp the complex concepts from within.

[David W Moore III]

It is a very surreal metaphor. Sorry if it threw you.

[Angela]

No problem. I guess it's up to the reader to draw their own conclusion

[Brad]

one of the things i love about your writing is you take something simplistic with a base or primal feel to it...then you rip apart that cosmic veil and put things on such an existential level it gives one nose bleeds (and popping veins)...viewing the big picture and feeling small...bravo, superman

[David W Moore III]

this was a very existential metaphor about feeling separated from the rest of the world, having stepped outside it and not knowing how to return. Truth is, I rarely write 'pretty' poems. they're more gut punches in a surreal meets concrete sort of way!

[stars are far]

I liked this so much :)
Enjoyed it

[David W Moore III]

Thank you, I think my writing is changing a bit after my illness

[stars are far]

yes , it is so nice .. :D
And thank God for you being fine

[Leslie Philibert]

I like poems that introduce me to new words, obsidian I don`t know, and Clothos I will google. This has for me a nice hippy 60`s Lucy-in-the-sky feeling, enigmatic with colours and butterflies,good write.

[David W Moore III]

Sort of a synesthesia run at being outside of time looking in.

[Mockingbird]

brings to mind a trippy journey in a blink of an eye, and coming out with the clarity you hadn't had before you you had the surreal experience. excellent poem.

[David W Moore III]

Thanks for the review. As I said in my other comment. I'm trying to open my poetic wings and see how they work with all my meds.