ʻalo ka makani

Beauty, less human corruptions,

Though created by fiery eruptions.

That foreshadow a deadly Pearl,

And a striking hula girl.

Reviews

[CircusNerd]

haha the title sounds like some kind of indian food, and since i'm indian i give myself the right to make a call on that by saying that i'm pretty sure it is :) short and sweet, it's good!

[d. c. smith]

hmm, solid, but i needed more (not necessarily in terms of length) in order to get hit by it. i wasn't HIT by it.

but good work as always, my friend!

[lanEpoo]

very cute
i like the rhyme scheme
very well written.

[deeps]

Well expressed write
Little detail but well said
Nothing more needed

[Muhammad]

I don't know if this poem was meant to do this but it created a really attractive girl in my head haha