Cluttered Journey

How our lives change with the lack of time and the growth of responsibilities, how marriages change with the same.

 

Cluttered Journey

 

In the clutter of my desk

typed out verse vies

with bills and billing,

the papers stacked on a sorter

or piled without reason

on the copier,

while pens, paperclips

wires, name stamps and notes

battle the laptop for primacy

on the dark cherry surface

or the little I can see of it.

 

The real estate competition

for open mental space

fans out in my mind

like a fast-paced auction

for my dwindling attention:

never meeting committees chaired,

paintings unfinished,

hospital duties  never done

and the angst of firecracker minds

inside teenagers under our roof

diminish moments of meditation.

 

Life moves ahead and me with it,

relishing the rare moments for a hug

or a quiet dinner by candlelight,

a live jazz quartet improvising

before the firelight

as my partner and I try to recall

the days of holding hands,

dancing and watching dance,

climbing mountains with our border collie

that launched our journey so quietly.

Reviews

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Isn't it funny how time just seems to disappear when life happens- Then you look back and wonder how you got there in the first place!

The phrase:

"The real estate competition
for open mental space
fans out in my mind
like a fast-paced auction"

really caught my attention because you describe it so perfectly! You have amazing talent and structure to all of your writing! I'm envious! Thank you for sharing it with me!

[Randall Richard]

i love this one, "firecracker minds" is brilliant

[Bubo]

Hello David!
Such a great poem.When children come along they are indeed a joy but boy they sure change your life...........and I love the way you have said...............

and the angst of firecracker minds
inside teenagers under our roof
diminish moments of meditation.

So well put.........having two teen girls I can relate to that!!Loved it!

[Linda Crawford Ortiz]

Wow, David. This is what my husband discussed just the other day...don't know how I missed this one. Sadly, I know it listed in subscriptions...just another ' real estate competition', I guess. lol we see what goes on with the grandchildren, and wonder how--with four kids in our house--and only one or two in each of the kids' homes--we even found the time to hug and kiss let alone make them! ; ) This is, once again, a very well organized piece of writing...of life. The strange part is, I believe every thought you've expressed, yet I see the results...how do you ever get it all done? Do your Muses help to clean up the clutter too? Great write with a leisurely pace, believe it or not, that took me on a journey into my own cluttered mind. I leave this review with a smile on my face. Don't you just love when that happens?

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

Aw memories of life before children I vaguely remember those times. lol. Beautifully done and has a
smooth easy flow to it. I liked the part about life moving on and me with it. I can see you still cherish
those few moments for that hug or quiet candlelit dinner. Great write.
Debby

[J.P. Bristow]

and this is life. A wonderful write my friend!!!!....but what great memories to share with your wife!!!!

[Sarah Williams]

Wow...this is incredible! There is something so real and so human in the way that we allow our minds to be "cluttered" by life; when the things we love find it difficult to compete with the things that we don't love, but that we must do.

Life moves ahead and me with it,
relishing the rare moments for a hug
or a quiet dinner by candlelight,
a live jazz quartet improvising
before the firelight
as my partner and I try to recall
the days of holding hands,
dancing and watching dance,
climbing mountains with our border collie
that launched our journey so quietly.

--This last stanza is quite beautiful! The way that you tie it all together with moments and memories that you love...candlelight and jazz, holding hands and dancing, and the most interesting image of all, climbing mountains with your border collie. Still, there is a sadness here, because you are having to "recall" these things, rather than live them. Wow!

[Www.prusite.com]

David,
Thanks for the review of "Love or Sex?". Yes this 43rd chapter is part of my book "1 ABC of Love". I appreciate you took the time to leave your opinion about the ideas I wrote.

Just wanted to say here, about "Cluttered Journey" that you take us in a good journey, the one of life, from the daily living to the old good memories. You do it smoothly, gently and genuinely and that is why I like it.

Also checked out your MySpace...interesting profile, like here: avoiding comments but yet connecting with the people... Also like you acknowledge your mother: it's always good: to show respect to the parents. Meekness is not a weakness: it's a strenght!

Good coincidence that you left your review at 3:17pm, on May the 7th in 2007...

J 317

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

David this is another one of your works that I really enjoyed. The simple images and direct and clear language enables the poem to speak to anyone. I don't have any suggestions; the most I can say is that you would do well to emulate everything about this poem in your future work.

'The real estate competition
for open mental space
fans out in my mind
like a fast-paced auction'"

Real Estate, and Auction... hahaha Great. I love these two expressions. Refreshing creativity.

"as my partner and I try to recall
the days of holding hands,"
- Sad how this happens. Simple things aren't appreciated as often because of the hustle and bustle of life. I hope this doesn't happen to me but it seems inevitable.

A snapshot of life.
- Tiger

[Wanda Philipps]

Very Good. I can feel the lost moments of intimacy. They are gone with the daily duties and our minds are full of committees and things that need to be done. Gosh this makes me think maybe life just starts to happen to us like an accident. I can just feel it so deeply when I read a story like this it is so profoundly disturbing.

[Amy Widmer]

"the angst of firecracker minds
inside teenagers under our roof
diminish moments of meditation."---> my favorite line.
The everyday creates such beautiful poetry.

Thanks for sharing.