Reluctant Blossom

It takes time to grow into one's own beauty and character

 

Reluctant Blossom

 

I am beautiful

but never sure

as the darkest rose and dangerous,

my stems adorned

with cruel intended thorns

to cut you till you bleed

in a moment of raging sadness.

 

If you look close as braces on teeth

you’ll share the slight stink of my tacit fear

but ask and I’ll deny with my last

dying breath. My daggered tongue

says no to soft comfort,

your promised love, to

yellow daffodils of Spring.

 

I curse and won’t believe,

crying inside, rejection won’t come,

that you will stay near unlike

the young madré I never knew.

My olive toned beauty

could not keep me with her

from my first sad and forgotten moments.

 

The fragrant new blossom hope

of my fine-featured face

and volatile vivacious power

gives pause to bare-chested boys

and merry sleazy men my moms

have sagely warned, by word and deed,

so no baby will be born unwanted.

 

© 2007  David P. Eckert

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

ha. okay i reviewed this 11 months ago. am i allowed to do it again?? lol no wonder it sounded vaguely familiar. :P you and your restoring efforts.

"says no to soft comfort,

your promised love, to

yellow daffodils of Spring."

funny that this was the same verse I copied and pasted last time??? guess that means I'm at least sincere with these things :)

[Shannon K.]

You have a lot of great descriptions in here. I found this very interesting to read because of your imagery, and the meaning that you state at the end, that no child should b born into this world unwanted. Great job overall!
S.k.

[J.P. Bristow]

My olive toned beauty
could not keep me with her
from my first sad and forgotten moments. .......................what can I say that has not been said...........this is thought provoking and genuine.......this is art.

[MarcZw]

I had to read this several times to just see how beautiful it is crafted and how sad it really is; and it was worth every reread!

[Kira Love]

Very emotionally powerful, this is a fantastic write! I was particularly moved by the first stanza. Awesome imagery! This is over-all a superb job!

[K Antonacci]

Heavy topic, somewhat light reading. I like that contrast, and i very much like how this is written. Your stanzas say a lot, and i think it's a wonderful piece right down to the title!
Great job!
Love,
K

[Kara Emily Krantz]

yay for yummy alliteration

"My daggered tongue
says no to soft comfort,
your promised love, to
yellow daffodils of Spring. "

love love love that

nice job!

[I.R.]

Well, you've get some good alliteration and some interesting images such as the dagger tongue and braces on teeth. You have some abstracts that just clash with the imagery, such as "raging sadness," "rejection," "forgotten moment," etc. I bet you so could convey raging sadness with an image. Though writing down abstracts such as sadness and rejection may seem to add a weight to the poem, at least for me, what they end up doing is thinning it down. Watch out for the first stanza, the third line. The way the ideas are placed "like a darkest rose and dangerous" sounds odd to me. Is the speaker both like the darkest rose and dangerous? Or like a dangerous darkest rose? Just the way that line is laid out reads oddly. You've got nice images there that convey your point, but some of the abstracts hinder the piece. I hope this helped.

[Nihad Dweidary]

What an interesting, uncanny approach to beauty. Powerful in its design this poem is, really. There are many images to contemplate here. There is incredible sadness in the creases of this story. It is as if I am looking at an amazingly beautiful girl who is terribly and dangerously bipolar in a way. Makes any sense? This is food for thought indeed. I doubt it not that we need some of every element to be whole in the end. One can appreciate the light certainly after having experienced the darkness. Favorite part:

curse and won�t believe,
crying inside, rejection won�t come,
that you will stay near unlike
the young madr� I never knew.
My olive toned beauty
could not keep me with her
from my first sad and forgotten moments.

Great job, and more! -Nihad

[Barry S. Maltese]

No, beauty is NOT all one needs, and by itself, can actually be dangerous. For anyone too fascinated by beauty is often hurt. For Beauty to be complete there must be understanding and compassion. I love this work, and enjoyed it, as I have many of your writings. Keep up the good work, my friend.