Maps

Don't remember if this one was a challenge, but it's a bit of a psychological piece relating to self-confidence and the scars of living.

 

Maps

 

Hippocampus

has no place in verse,

its meter adverse,

but the hidden treasure

of all measure and maps

perverse that burn and scar.

 

Hid under skin and deep within

the skull’s jellied brain,

the simple grains of memories,

grown into cysts

which turn our eyes toward lies

or wise and foolish thoughts.

 

Yellow dump truck, sand box toy,

at three was left and looted next --

sand lodges in anxiety

re leaving things behind .

 

At ten the carpool came and went,

the quietest one left alone

and then to grow

determination,

be reckoned with and not ignored,

one day becomes his guiding force.

 

The hippo pool of old events

a thousand sands of silent strife

leaves residue of dents and rents

in fabrics of his confidence –

his choice of path to climb his life,

his search for love, acceptance, wife.

Pursuit of all pursuits is smeared

with scented worries, fears and tears.

 

Remarkable to forge a life

from detritus memories all rife

with spoiled moments, unseen scars

that grab and catch us where we are,

but forge we forward, nip and tuck

at broken shards that teach us pluck

and force us raging to grow up.

 

©2007  David P. Eckert

Reviews

[Memnoch]

WOW! Now this was a twister! up and down and then down and up. This was really something? But I understand why you wrote and I think it was fine. Thanks For Sharring.
Kelley Frost

[T. L. O'Neal]

Wonderful poem David. The concept, writing, everthing. It's so true that all, the good and the bad shape us into who we are. How we let it effect us is where the truth truely lies. T

[Alexis Ryan]

kristine actually sent this to me to read...

and i am glad she did...

[Grace****]

Very, very good job! I loved it!

[Ron Cole]

Interesting verse this, from cradle to adulthood! Choices and events that shape and forge our lives! I like the last stanza best;

"but forge we forward, nip and tuck
at broken shards that teach us pluck
and force us raging to grow up."

For some of us, it's a miracle that we even survive to adulthood!

Excellent story and excellent verse, this!!

[Krystal Waters]

Wow, I am impressed!!! You really knocked one in the hole on this round! All I can say is GREAT!




Kristine

[Gandré]

It is an unbelievable sensible almost romantic interpretation of anatomy and life ways of man. "from detritus memories all rife
with spoiled moments, unseen scars ".
Daaviiddd ....it is a delicious and enlightening poem.

[Paul Grimsley]

this has a great rhythm to it, the poem canters along, delivering each idea fluidly. i know i mentioned before that you have a real knack for conveying the complex in a simple way and this poem demonstrates that with real style and because of the way it scans it is great fun to read and would be great as a spoken word piece.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

the last two verses were my favorites.

it was a little convoluted here and there... as though it were jumbled together a bit; and i feel like i should have understood it more, but it was 'smart' and i'm a little slow today so maybe that's why, hehe.

"leaves residue of dents and rents
in fabrics of his confidence �
his choice of path to climb his life,
his search for love, acceptance, wife.
Pursuit of all pursuits is smeared
with scented worries, fears and tears. "

those were my favorite lines

nice job with this m'dear :)