The El Emerges

Watching from a window overlooking the el station

 

The El Emerges

 

The el launches – metal and stone

snake anchored deep in Manhattan’s

bowels, its teal paint marred in burnt

sienna rust, creepy skyward.

 

Dyckman station empties its ant

people from dark door mouths. At first

they scurry out in great pushes –

overheated pinballs pinging

up, across and downhill, dribbling

out stragglers like the last popped corn.

 

Past passengers shower the street

with urgency, hurrying hard

across Nagle, their brows furrowed;

others stroll happily with their

co-riders, or stare inside

at private thoughts. The human stream

spreads slowly through soot scarred city

streets, merging into the gray day.

Reviews

[Shawn Jahaffie]

Wow, absolutely fantastic original imagery. I loved the lines

"overheated pinballs pinging"

"dribbling out stragglers like the last popped corn"

"Dyckman station empties its ant people from dark door mouths"

I've never been to New York or Manhattan, but Dyckman station sounds like gold the way you described it, even though it probably isn't. People probably do look like ants in the greater scheme of things. Great write for such a mundane scenario.

[R. MonaLeza]

Fantastic imagery. This is a perfect description that allows me to be a voyeur in a world I've never seen. Now that's an amazing write.

[J. Duran]

Good imagry and a good writing style.
Great job!
-J. Duran

[Christopher Tait]

Awesome work. Krystal Waters sent this to me, and I'm glad she did. Man, this reminded me of Bridge & Pratt, in Philadelphia (where I live), before they remodeled (I heard a cop down there say, "If they don't, the place'll fall down...literally"). You definitely captured the essence of places like that. Great job!

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

Holy crap! This is gold man. When you mentioned the popped corn I seriously jumped up in my seat. What a gem this piece is. Pinballs, popcorn, ants, woohoo! *breathes deep* Woohoo!!! Gotta love goo d imagery. Now that I've got that out... Send a read request to me I'm going to add you to my friends. - Tiger

[Ian]

thats pretty col, imagry everywhere!

[Liam Sweeny]

Very, very good flow and imagery. Line breaks are well played too.

[Scott Casale]

The feel of this is well portrayed by the first stanza. A nice flow, a nice glimpse at everyday living in New York City.

To Mundanity!

[Barry S. Maltese]

Wow. As a native New Yorker I can visualize what you are describing. Great job. Very vivd description.

[Abhra]

Wonderful poem. It leaves a certain taste in the mouth. Your images are fresh. I love the resigned objectivity which speaks volumes. I love these lines.
"The human stream
spreads slowly through soot scarred city
streets, merging into the gray day."
And the
"Dyckman station empties its ant
people from dark door mouths."

Loved every bit of the poem!!!
Thanks for sharing.