Traveller

Many miles away is a space, a circular space,

With heart beats pulsing on each breath.

It's a void of dead and decay emotions,

Frosting on the petals of the blossomary pains

Loneliness persist on the unspoken truth,

Am a traveller with a burden.

 

Such emotions radiats a constant.

A constant without the scientific values,

But a mental state of an extraordinary.

Such mental state can I try to judge from the stars,

With a delusion of knowing astronomy.

So helpless I lay below the stars,

Letting the breeze with such soft fur graze my thoughts

Simple it all seems yet the dark space in my heart is in a season of ice age.

Slowly it melts,

Slowly my tongue is caught between saying I love you and saying I hate you.

Author's Note

old poem, let me know what you think

Reviews

[Kristallo]

There is so much to appreciate here, you have a fantastic way with expression.

It's a void of dead and decay emotions,
Frosting on the petals of the blossomary pains
Loneliness persist on the unspoken truth,
Am a traveller with a burden.

I like that, it really reminded me of a Modest Mouse verse where he says that he likes songs and books about drifters, both make him feel a little less insane. Both are about the lonely heart of the traveller, always seeking some unnamed joy their heart has never known from each new place.... also really enjoyed how you put, "Such a mental state can I try to judge from the stars, with a delusion of knowing astronomy." In the grandness of the universe, one does feel humbled (and sometimes insignificant) when deliberating over the vastness of it. Really related to the last three lines, as well, thought you wrote this with an esoteric and tender hand. Well done.

[Siren]

This is a great picture of the journey of love and hate, separation and reunion. You've done a wonderful job. I love it!

[frivolous treasures]

I absolutely loved this poem. This gave me a sense of quiet bewilderment... Like why should I not travel and become well rounded...but also that I have an anchor in my life, my home, where I orbit and gravitate to.
Your first stanza was absolutely breathtaking... This was wonderfully penned. Marvelous write :) Maika'i no, good job!

[Lily Mae]

I feel such void.. lost in the bittersweet.. "A traveler with a burden" is what I feel all the way through.. I wonder which one was chosen ..love or hate..xo Excellent write..x
"

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

a titled piece that leads with the description and imagery, folded for the reader, well done, good read.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

A peculiar write!