My New Fantasy Novel

I have a new fantasy novel I've been working on, and I'm almost completed with the first draft! If you're interested in reading it and helping me make it better, let me know!!! I'll send you a copy of the entire thing along with a hand-made map, and you can dive into my world before anybody else. 

Just so you know what you're getting into, I'll publish part of the prologue below. If you're interested in reading, comment below or send me an email at [email protected]. I'll send you a copy ASAP :)

Prologue

The Siege of Moslow

Moslow, Ormdel, In The Far West

Swords bashed together on the walls of Moslow as Lord Dargu kicked his opponent in the shins. With the momentary advantage, he sliced the man’s head off, bracing himself for the next attacker. The man who stepped up was larger and barbaric, with blood smothered on his face and his eyes aglow with fury. The rising sun behind him enhanced his terrible features.

“Treachery!” he shouted at Lord Dargu, swinging his axe threateningly. “An underhanded blow!”

“Attacking my city in the midst of peace is treachery,” Lord Dargu countered. His dwarvish voice boomed over the man’s. “What I did was merely unfair.”

With a roar, the axe-swinging maniac dashed forward, sweeping his axe low towards the knees. Lord Dargu hopped into the air, his black beard swinging wildly. Just as quickly, the axe came flying back, this time aiming for his head. With his thick, heavy sword, the dwarf batted the axe away, where it fell down below to the crowds of soldiers.

The battle was going well below them, and the soldiers of Moslow were pushing back the barbarians, almost out of the city gate. On the wall, things were even better. Facing his disarmed opponent, Lord Dargu flashed a yellowed, rotten smile.

“For Ormdel!” he roared, and with the force of both arms swung the claymore downwards. The man’s skull shattered, and he kicked the dead body off the side.

There was a sudden surge of the enemies, trampling each other in their frenzy. To kill the king would bring them honor and glory, hard to find during wartime like this. Their own king, Navarro, would reward them, and they would keep their lives.

Even as he struck another soldier dead, his own soldiers swarmed around, protecting him. With the group of friendly fighters in front of him, he relaxed for a minute. Lord Dargu was about to thunder forwards into the battle, when he heard somebody shout his name from behind.

“Lord!” cried the hoarse voice.

Certain that his soldiers were winning the fight, he whipped around and saw another dwarf, holding the traditional battle axe.

While the king ruled over the merged dwarf-and-human kingdom, his fellow kinsman held a special place in his heart. Seeing one of them alive and well in the middle of this terrible day was a joy.

Carefully threading his way through the men pushing forward, he reached the young dwarf, who, although weary, seemed to be in good shape. The man knelt before him.

“What is it?” the king asked, glancing back once more on the state of the skirmish.

Though the rumble of battle was all around them and the massive fight below continued to rage, the dwarf’s voice was heard clearly.

“Look there,” he said, sounding frightened.

Lord Dargu’s gaze followed his pointing finger and saw -in the distance but coming closer every second- a mass of soldiers uncountable in number. They marched in steady beat, and the dust of the earth rose over them, hiding the thousands following in their wake.

“What is this?” he said, barely managing the words in his shock.

“Navarro has brought all of them.”

“We don’t stand a chance,” said Lord Dargu, wiping sweat from his forehead. Praying to the gods silently, he asked for mercy on their doomed souls. “How long until they arrive?”

“Our scouts say a few hours.”

Lord Dargu did not answer immediately, but gazed down on the crowd of soldiers, where his own army had been victorious. The enemy stragglers fled from the city gates, towards a much larger, menacing force that would overwhelm all of their defenses. None of his soldiers followed after them -that was a relief. They would have been running to their deaths.

“We must retreat,” the king said darkly.

“On boats?” the dwarf asked. “We could perhaps sail to the southern part of our kingdom and regroup our forces.”

He gestured to the Saic River, which ran alongside their city of Moslow. It watered their crops, fed their citizens, and was the sole reason that Moslow flourished as it did. It only made sense that, once again, it could save them.

“No.” The king shook his head sorrowfully. “We must retreat on foot. If we go through the mountains, we will be quicker than them. We can stay in Wursburn to the south.”

“Won’t they follow us?”

“Yes, but perhaps we can send a message to the human kingdom.

“Kelormen?” asked the dwarf.

“Yes. The other kingdom is too far north. Kelormen shares borders with Oldon, just as we do. Perhaps they will help. We could work together and conquer Navarro.”

“And if they don’t agree?”

“Then we are doomed.”

Within minutes, the order was put out to run. Every citizen would gather their families, and then in a long line they would leave their homeland.

Evacuating the city was quick work, but at times the people went into a panic and trampled each other. They were all trying to get closer to the back gate of the city, which pointed south and towards their destination. Possessions were mostly left, although some people brought as much as they could carry in their arms. The livestock was set free, all the horses brought along, and any food wrangled from the city put in pouches and bags.

The possibility of starving in the mountains was a very real, very sobering reality. Despite this knowledge, Lord Dargu insisted on traveling by foot. They had the advantage, knowing more about the mountains than the enemy Oldonites. King Navarro had a larger fleet and could catch them if they chose to sail. The whole city would be sunk. This way, they had a fighting chance.

As the herds of people began to flood out of the gate, soldiers attempting to keep them in line, Lord Dargu sat quietly on his horse. He was waiting for all of them to leave. His general, Templeton, sat beside him, glancing about the city, taking in the sites of a home soon to be burned. There was no doubt that this home would be nothing more than ashes by tomorrow, and the walls and protections they built up lying in the dust, as dust.

“It’s the worst part of war,” Lord Dargu mused, “seeing your friends die, your home burned, and your treasures thrown in with the dirt.”

“I’m afraid if we don’t move quicker, the army will overtake us, and slaughter them,” said the general, nodding vaguely at the crowds of people.

“Fear can do many things,” the king said, “and if they understand what is coming, they will run faster.”

“Do they understand?”

“They will.”

Silence enveloped the two companions, sitting majestically in the morning sunlight. Last night’s battle had taken its toll on the both of them.

It was a dirty move -a surprise attack in the middle of the night. If not for the quick speed of their scouts, they would have been caught entirely off guard, and massacred. As it was, they had prepared enough to withstand the first surge of the army, and when the iron gate was finally broken down they had fought their hardest. Now, after the victory, they were once again retreating, once more running from a foe they could not defeat on their own.

“Is this war?” asked Lord Dargu, peering up at the beautiful, dazzling sky. Sunlight streamed onto his old face, making him look ancient. It deepened the wrinkles, emphasized the thoughtfulness, and showed that his time as king might come to an end soon.

“What?” asked Templeton, anxiously looking at his old friend. “The retreating? The loss? The deaths?”

“No, not that.” He indicated the city walls, the feeble houses, and everything else in the grand Moslow. “This city was built only for war. It was a time of great stress, and so this town prospered, as it was on the foregrounds of the battles. When I was but a boy -and you were not yet born- this was the greatest city in the kingdom, raising soldier after soldier after soldier. Our enemies were weak, nothing more than tribes, and yet my father wished to conquer them entirely. That, he did. Then he died, spending his whole life in wars.

“Now, on the eve of yet another war, the city is lost, and will be burned. After fighting so many battles, killing so many men, and protecting our nation year after year, I can’t help but wonder if we are the same as this city: Raised up in hardships, taught to fight - and do it heartlessly- and then we will crumble at the end, killed by yet another war.”

“You know why we fight.” The general sighed. “We do it to protect our country, and for everyone who cannot.”

“Ah, yes,” Lord Dargu groaned. “But that is what we are taught to say. Take yourself, for instance. You are called ‘Bladeswinger’ by everyone but your closest friends. They don’t know your real name. They don’t know you. To them, you are the man who has killed thousands, hundreds of thousands, and risked his life day after day. But do they feel awe towards you? Reverence? Do they understand that you, too, are a living creature, just like them?”

“Well, of course they do,” he answered.

“No, Templeton. They don’t. They see you as a hero, someone out there. They do not realize we are fighting for them. We are merely a sideshow. We are heroes for them, but we are not of them. Their everyday lives and the military campaigns are separated.”

“Until today.”

The king nodded. “Until today.”

“But where does that leave us?” asked the general. “If we are on the brink of war -with Oldon swarming us and trying to conquer everything, and the East human nations may not help, and the elves have not been seen for almost a century, and most of the dwarves have not been seen outside the mountains- what do we do? We are hopeless.”

The king thought for a moment. “This nation was forged centuries ago, when my tribe of dwarves and your country of humans were both weak. We found each other and ever since have been a strong nation.”

“Strong?” the general spat. “We are not strong! We can’t even defend our capital city!”

“You don’t understand,” responded the king. He motioned at the army of citizens ahead of them. “It is not military might I speak of. It is our kingdom; our hope. I have no doubt that every man, woman, and child in this place would fight if asked too, and some even if told not to. In that way -the most important way- we are the strongest of all.”

Their chestnut horses began a steady walk out of the city. While General Templeton remained facing forward, the king peered around with the wonder of a young child, drinking in the hauntingly empty sights.

A bird perched above them on the city wall was surrounded by its fellow clan, until f they flew off into the sky. Yet the one bird alone remained. Lord Dargu scratched his beard absentmindedly, and smiled to himself.

“I never thought I would leave this place for good.”

“We will return,” the general assured him, even though he doubted it was true.

“No,” said Lord Dargu, “I don’t think we will. This very well could be the end, Templeton.”

“We have gone through much together, my lord.”

“No need to call me that,” the king grinned. “I am not your lord. We are friends, who find themselves presently on the brink of death, and have fulfilled all of their lifelong dreams.”

As they passed outside of the city walls, a solemn tear rolled down the king’s face, mixing into his beard.

“Not all of them,” Templeton said.

“Oh, really? What haven’t we done?”

“You still haven’t beat me in a swordfight.”

Lord Dargu grinned as they passed out of the city gate and into the warm sunshine.

Once again, let me know below or send me an email if you want to read more!

Reviews

[Meraki]

I like it. I'd be happy to review it for you, if you'd like. It might take me some time though because of work and school.

[Not here]

That's no problem :) Send me an email over at [email protected] and I'll send you a copy!

[andrew mitchell]

A nice story but it's a two way street. No more requests by you as you don't respond in courtesy.

[Not here]

I'll review some of your work.

[H.L. Cerveise]

I love it. Thanks for requesting I read it. I have not reviewed many stories on here. It is just hard for me to sit down long enough to read without interruptions from real life and virtual life. However, once I started reading this I kept reading, as my phone buzzed with message upon message, I kept reading. It was a great read. I can tell the book will be even more exciting. Your development of the characters is terrific.

Well done.

[Not here]

Thanks H.L. :) As I said, if you're interested in reading the entire book email me at [email protected] and I'll send you a copy to read!