Last Trip to the Hospital

<><>

I saw my reflection as

a car was speeding by.

The windows tinted black

were a mirror for the sky.

<>

The building windows gleamed

like stars hidden by a cloud,

as the fog rolled in

and sirens were blaring loud.

<>

I rode through the whole town,

traveling much too fast.

Speeding almost twice as quick,

I watched the town fly past.

<>

My head was throbbing still,

though I'm not quite sure why.

And as the doors opened,

I wished that I could cry.

<>

Silence hugged me tight

as they lowered down my bed.

The wheels were rusty but

we started up ahead.

<>

I felt the sidewalk pass

and my breathing hollowed out.

I knew I would miss this life.

I knew without a doubt.

<>

They opened up the doors,

and I heard them shout my name.

As they pushed me down the hall,

I thought I should take the blame.

<>

Before much time had passed,

every beep was another breath.

And with every jagged line,

my heart inched closer to death.

<><>

Reviews

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Wow, very creative and vivid. "Silence hugged me tight" is a great line. Great job!

[Devious13]

you certainly have a story to tell if its real then i feel for you then you have seen much in your life i love the pieces that you write and id love you to tell me more , inbox me if you dont mind and give me a lil insight but awesome and mysteriuous right from the starrt had me and my attention the whole time and thats what i do know

[Not here]

Thanks Devious :) I'll send you a message saying more about it.

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad poem.
"Before much time had passed,
every beep was another breath.
And with every jagged line,
my heart inched closer to death."
When death is near. Thoughts are endearing. Thank you Dante for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Not here]

thank you for reading and reviewing coyote :) i appreciate it

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[Ookpik]

Agreed fantastic stanza!!!

[andrew mitchell]

The imagery and suspense shines through this as If I was there pushing the trolley through the corridors into theatre as each light above blurs. Captured so very well! Life in the balance!

[Not here]

thank you andrew :) you must have a good imagination then because i didn't think the descriptions were that fantastic lol. i appreciate it.

[andrew mitchell]

you have to work in a hospital, it allows the imagery to expand!

[Not here]

that makes sense lol

[Stan Lee]

Scary but good. I liked the clear story-line through this one. I really liked this bit "I knew I would miss this life. I knew without a doubt." I wondered if it would be better to end on this thought? Otherwise, as always, great rhyme Dante! :)

[Not here]

thank you smiley face :) i did enjoy writing a poem with a clearer story line. it made it more interesting from my point of view (but I'm the author so duh lol)

[ApKWrites]

Great piece!
Keep them coming!

[Not here]

ill try :) thank you

[Amy R]

Absolutely amazing !
keep up the great works :)
~Amy

[Not here]

thanks amy :) i appreciate it

[Amy R]

ur welcome! :)

[Corbin Driver]

Great piece of work! I really enjoyed it!

[Not here]

thank you corbin :)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Wow, heavy, Dante. Hope that isn't a personal experience you've once had. Very good pictures in it. Hope it ends well. :) Rudi

[Not here]

thank you Rudi :) and no it's not.

[Davidgeo]

You're kind of a dark mo fo.

'mirror for the sky'
into
'star hidden by a cloud'

That's, really good. The way you layed that and everything else out was outstanding.

Wunderbar.


'star hiding cloud b******s' - is what I would've done. Cause I'm so f*****g elegant.

[Not here]

thanks sir.

[Not here]

this isnt as dark as some of my stuff on this site

[Davidgeo]

I'm a pile of s**t... I don't read enough of you god damn people here.

[Not here]

nah youre not. as far as i know youre a human. i dont read much of the people here either. life gets in the way. busy busy busy

[Davidgeo]

Yeah.. ha. Busy... I'm never busy. I'm just a f*****g god damn son of a pilgrim s**t narcissist of a jerk face. I will only talk about cats from now on.

[Davidgeo]

I don't usually swear this much... it's a thing I'm doing today.

[Davidgeo]

Fug u.......

[Not here]

i wouldnt call ya that. and i have days like that i think we all do

[Davidgeo]

We are all of us everyone of us closer than we think....

Mostly for homely reasons... but we humans do share greatness in common. We run this b***h after all.

[Davidgeo]

Well, maybe the Tardigrades... they probably live on more earth than we could ever dream of.

Panspermia... the real aliens are the f*****g tartidrades --- the water bear reigns as the og superhero.

[Not here]

yeah i agree. we sre the same even if people wanna pretend theyre different or better

[Davidgeo]

Just make sure you look into Tardigrades.... everyone should know about the wonder of the water bear. (it's a real thing, no cowshit)

[Not here]

you remind me of another guy i know in some ways except he is annoying

[Davidgeo]

Listen to The Pixies while you read about them... a song called "into the white".

[Not here]

ill look it up after i sleep some. it does sound believable

[Not here]

into the white by the pixies. gotcha. thank you sir

[Davidgeo]

Maybe I'm just trying to piss off conservative Christians? Ha... aight... I'm done now.

read moreMaybe I'm just trying to piss off conservative Christians? Ha... aight... I'm done now.

Out.

[Not here]

well thts not very hard haha try to piss off the liberal ones and its actually a challenge

[Not here]

im off to bed sir. ill talk to u more tmmrow about the thing u mentioned. have a nice night. take care