Daddy

​S

he doesn't have a home,
anywhere to where she'd roam.

She doesn't have a sister;

will never have a special mister.
She used to have a brother;

he died inside her mother.
And although she's very sad
at least she has a dad.

She doesn't know a soul
who would take her home tonight.
She used to have a daddy;
she lost him to a fight.
She doesn't have no money
but she's doing just alright.
She doesn't sleep at all.
It's easier to cry all night.

She doesn't have a job.
She'll never be a wife.
And she knows one of these days
she'll take her f*****g life.
Her tears have filled the ocean;
now she's stretching very thin.
Gorges herself at dinner
just to throw it up again.

She won't ever have a husband
and she knows that'll never change.
She really misses her daddy.
And she has grief past any range.

The only choice that's left

is which weapon she use.

She still has the whip

that her daddy used to her abuse.

Reviews

[Corbin Driver]

I like it a lot! Great work!

[Not here]

thanks corbin :)

[Emily]

I love this!
I love how you told the story!
Keep on writing!

[Not here]

thank you :)

[Riley Justine]

Wow. This is amazing. The thoughts and feelings of an abused and depressed child bundled into one poem FULL of feeling. I think this may be my favourite you have ever written.

[Not here]

awesome!!! im always glad to hear that :)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

This is a very sad story you tell in your poem. Sadly enough, such things happen. Well done, Dante. :) Rudui

[Not here]

thank you rudi. i appreciate it

[dan]

Quite a great changeup from the beginning, in which she loves and misses her dad, to the end in which his abusive nature is exposed. The fact that she does indeed MISS HIM puts me to mind of an old truism I heard a zillion years ago: If someone comes up and kicks you in the a*s six days in a row, then the seventh day arrives and the kick doesn't come, you're looking back and wondering, "What the ____?" Kind of like the Stockholm syndrome where the hostage begins to identify with the captor. Very well conceived and written! take care...dan

[Not here]

yes thats very true! I actually hadn't heard that truism before but i do think there is some truth to that. thank you for pointing that out dan :)

[Imperfection2aT]

Goodness! This poem almost made me cry. It's really powerful and speaks on such a deep level. You've done such a good job on this. The number of stanzas works really well, and the changing rhyme scheme is clever. The subject matter is dark; you've done such a good job pulling on the reader's heartstrings. Way to go!

[Not here]

thanks very much :) im glad it was effective

[Brittany Bostic]

WOW! This is super powerful. I think this might be my favorite piece you have written so far, though it is hard to tell because all of your writing is amazing. But I loved the story that this brought me through! It was dark and intense. It was honest and the rhyme scheme was impressive. I love that each line lead to the next like each year of her life ran into the one after. This is really incredible writing Dante.

[Not here]

thank you so much :) im really glad you liked this so much