A Sailor's Song

I see the air, ever thin.

And I wait for morning to begin.

I'm not sure if it holds anything.

There's so many hopes it could bring.

But when I hope, I will doubt.

And when I pray, I will pout.

There's no point in being free

when freedom sends me to sea.

I'll sail alone many nights.

Dreaming of storms and hurricanes and fights.

But in the end I'll find my way back

to the place we came under attack.

It took some time for us to see

everything that was starting to be.

By the time we realized our mistake

it was too late to slam on the brake.

So I'll find a beach, walk so far.

Above and around me- only stars.

It will take a while but I will find

a way to you, to remind.

I know you forgot all that we had,

and I know I once could make you glad.

But that turned to mad and that turned to hate.

We could have fixed us but you didn't want to wait.

I left the shore one shining morn.

Between you and the waves, I was sadly torn.

But they looked inviting and you didn't even see my face

as I waved goodbye, and I finally left our final place.

I sang a silent song at sea as the waves were rolling by.

I saw your face in the sky as they flew above me high.

But now I don't want to go back. So just forget all that I've said.

When I return to land at last, it will be as a man that's dead.

Reviews

[John]

So beautiful. Love the part that says 'But when I hope, I will doubt. And when I pray, I will pout.' :D Keep writing good poetry they are awesome.

[Not here]

thank you so much :) i will keep writing

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and worthwhile tale my friend.
"I sang a silent song at sea as the waves were rolling by.
I saw your face in the sky as they flew above me high.
But now I don't want to go back. So just forget all that I've said.
When I return to land at last, it will be as a man that's dead."
The sea is true. Will take what it wants. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Not here]

thank you very much coyote :) i love how everyone interprets this differently

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poem. I love the sea.

[Riley Justine]

The rhyming scheme is perfect for this poem. Really well written.

[Not here]

thanks :) i love to mess around with rhyme schemes

[dan]

david, this was a great read; the more conventional rhyme scheme serves this piece well, along with the theme of a walk to think. The walk may actually be happening inside the mind, as memories are studied, mistakes are mourned. Remembering the quote, "A walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet." Wondering if that soul, the GOOD ONE, is yours or did it wash out to sea? So it is decided to kill that soul and return to the outside and start walking, more resolutely this time. Great piece!! take care...dan

[Not here]

thank you so much dan :) im really glad you liked it.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

The sea, peace, and the beach--wonderful combination.
In hope with quiet time to reflect and think...
Is the land the answer or the sea?
Torn between them...

[Not here]

thank you very much josie :) i appreciate ur review

[Emily]

I love it!
A great idea for a poem!
Keep on writing!

[Not here]

thank you emily :)

[Rajat malik]

I left the shore one shining morn.
Between you and the waves, I was sadly torn. Loved it. Gifted me some tears

[Not here]

thank you rajat :) lol i read that and thought "who wrote that?" when you said. im so forgetful

[Rajat malik]

Hahaha...:)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

A very sad song, Dante, but you've described the feelings of this sailor very well. Good poem. :) Rudi

[Not here]

thank you very much rudi :) i appreciate it

[Mara]

beautiful piece, really liked this, especially this line 'But when I hope, I will doubt.'

[Not here]

:) thank you very much Tee, im glad you liked it

[Stan Lee]

A very full and enchanting story with a clear conclusion. Lovely imagery and as always, wonderful rhyme. Thanks for sharing your writing with us. :) Keep smiling

[Not here]

thanks smiley face :) i like writing these poems that are kinda like stories lol