Storybook Ending

What happened to the places we used to go?

And what happened to the days that I used to know?

When did all my dreams with you become nightmares?

On the corner of the street- you left me there.

What happened to the evenings we spent alone?
And what happened to the moments we made our own?

What about the promises that we both made?

It might've killed me, but I wish you would have stayed.

I think our story's been written on the scars inside my heart.

It's carved into me and looks like such a wicked art.

You stabbed me in the back and drove the knife completely through.

Still the only one on my mind at this moment now is you.

I have so many questions that I'll never get to voice.

And I know which day it was that you stood up and made your choice.

I won't kneel here like a beggar but you'll have no second chance.

Yet I'm haunted by the memory of our final, silent dance.

Once upon a time, we both hoped a fairy tale end

was in our future. Now, neither of us wants to be friends.

We burned the bridges and kissed as around us they fell.

And we laughed together when the skies turned to hell.

I was fighting for my right to loyally bear your arm.

You thought I was clinging, so it set off your alarm.

And I would have been everything that you'd ever want or need.

But instead you made me kneel down to you on the ground and plead.

I hope you know the horrors everyday that I see now.

And I wish you'd try to understand right now exactly how

everything we said has shattered pieces in my heart.

But the broken shards of me are your depressing work of art.

Now it doesn't matter at this point how much I try to fight.

I spend every day asleep and lay awake at night.

It seems every free moment of mine I've been spending

regretting the night we wished for a storybook ending.

Reviews

[JayceeC]

Your poetry is getting smoother and smoother. Instead of using rhyme just too rhyme, you stress the content of the poem. Some off the earlier thoughts may be popular in slam poetry genre, which is popular with a younger audience, but it's meant tho be read aloud. This is comfortable for either reading silently in contemplation or aloud to here the words connect. That's what makes good poetry my friend! Keep it up. Jan

[Not here]

thank you jan :) im really glad you liked it

[dan]

david, Now brace yourself, because this is going to be the most ringing endorsement I've ever made of your work. You tend to break a lot of 'rules' with your rhyming. A great rhyme is supposed to be done in syncopated time; the lines should have the same number of 'beats' to it, maintain a smooth rhythm. But here's the ringing endorsement part. When a poet deviates from that 'rule' he/she has got to make up the difference by the superiority of their rhyming ability. And you, my young friend, have that quality, BALLS TO THE WALLS powerful rhyming skills. I would say that the writing you are now doing is by far the best of your writes that I've had the pleasure to review. You should submit your work for potential publications. It's THAT good. Always remember the outlet: the idea of free verse writing, taking your natural ability to write and scribbling your great ideas to a write form not requiring or imposing the constraints on your writing that rhyming does; write your idea completely WITHOUT being limited to a thought that you can FORCE to rhyme. But do what you are comfortable doing. Don't change unless you are ready to write in that different style. Good luck, you should be published. Try Poetry.com and the Three Penny Review. Google them and start submitting. take care...dan

[Not here]

thank you very much dan :) and i will look into those

[Bear]

Nice format, the corresponding thoughts from both sides of the situation is well played out. The says about standing in another mans shoes is well represented here as we get to stand in his and her shoes so to speak. I like it, it shows creativity and sensitivity to both side which is not an easy thing to do, well done my friend :~)

[Not here]

thank you bear :) i appreciate your feedback very much. glad you liked it

[Tamika Finley]

love this. emotional and vivid. good read. thanks for sharing

[Not here]

thank you for reading :)

[Tamika Finley]

any time :)